Mr Pilkington (Just call me "Pilk" )
What it is like to work in technical support or retail.... hell any customer service position
(Our zoo recently put several robotic dinosaurs in the park to help boost attendance. While working a snack stand, a family of three walks up to me.)
Father: “Excuse me, sir?”
Me: “Yes, how can I help you?”
Father: “Are the dinosaurs real?”
Me: “No, sir. They are not.”
Father: “But we saw them move…”
Me: “They are robotic dinosaurs. They have parts to make them move a little.”
Father: “Then why are they in the zoo if they are not real?”
Me: “It’s to teach our guests about dinosaurs.”
Son: “So are they real, dad?”
Father: *suddenly angry* “No, they are not! These f***ing people have fake animals!”
(As the father and son begin to walk away, the mother stays behind to tell me one last thing.)
Mother: “You know dear, maybe you should get real dinosaurs. That way, you won’t have problems like this.”
All I ever do is use the Journal to bitch. But as pissed as I am today will be different.... Today I will discuss:
.... Fluffy puppies!
.... Mashed potatoes :Q
.... A tall stein filled with cool refreshing Arrogant Bastard
.... Mac-n-Cheese on a stick
.... The fluff if a freshly trimmed beard
.... Autumn rain
.... Cattle grazing in the sun
.... Alien facehugger plusshies
.... Todd singing in the shower
.... Dean's List
.... Porcupine mating season
Oh the urge to kill.
The assignment was simple enough, one week to shoot a 3.5 minute silent fil using 9 basic shots: EWS (Extreme Wide Shot), VWS (Very Wide Shot), WS (Wide Shot), MS (Mid Shot), MCU (Medium Close Up), CU (Close Up), ECU (Extreme Close Up), Two-Shot and (OSS) Over-the-Shoulder Shot. We had 48 hours to come up with a plot line, story-board it, get props ready and by the 3nd day be ready to shoot. Of course, overzealous as always, my group decides on a horror theme as there is a horror film festival at school in the next few weeks. The guidelines were easy enough, shoot sequentially (eg: no editing) and ensure all 9 shots are included. Of course on the first day of class I let it slip that I had editing experience, I guess day one I screwed myself. WE began setting up shots but since its not dark until after 9pm we would need a nighttime checkout. The earliest available was the following Monday and luckily no class on Tuesday so we get an extra night with the camera. Monday comes around, and as i am the closest to school (despite working that day) i went to go pick up the equipment and accepted responsibility for it. Thank GOD that nothing got broken during our shoots. I'll spare the full explanation but lets just say that as expected in a freshmen class, none of them had any film experience. DESPITE what I was told. Trust me, I just got done editing the video together.... yes... yes..... editing. MOTHER FUCK!! On day one all the other three did was piss, moan, and shoot the shit. The 2nd day was crunch time. i took the reigns and made shit happen. Bu sadly since we missed lord know how many hours on Monday there was no possible way to shoot sequentially. Now keep in mind, Monday I was up till well after 1am, Tuesday I finally got home just after midnight, tonight... well. I just got home. its 15 till 2am. D:< I have to be up for work at 6am, the rest of them don't have jobs, or nay responsibility. I have a wife, a career, and shit to mother fucking do! Basically they decided with out me ever knowing that I was destined to edit this by my goddamned lonesome. They bitched from Tuesday all the way until Monday when i finally had to say "look, [the teacher] said no editing. We can't break that rule." why the fuck not we broke every other rule. They wanted a dolly shot but had no dolly so we improvised with a wobbly cart... that looked like shit and will get us fucked. They wanted low shots but refused to use the tripod. For mother fuck sakes who shoots film without a stabilizer!? It was just one headache after another. Finally tonight after my class got out at 10pm I had to head over to the studio to figure out how to capture the footage..... yes, I had no idea. Basically my option were fail this project (which may happen anyway) or stay up well past my means, edit alone, learn all new hardware, and manage my personal life. all in a 3 hour window. it happened somehow. and while i was there the (self proclaimed) "camera expert" of our group had the audacity to tell me that he planned it from the start. It was all of my internal strength not to toss him through the window. so all last week begin up late working on pro, getting between 3-5 hours of sleep, this week end being up late and getting up at the ass-crack of dawn, and a full week, this week, of 3-4hour nights..... I am mother fucking exhausted.
And I think I am going to go sleep now.
Daily Zen: 5/23/05
Be glad you edit, for that is all it turns out we are worth.
Its funny how in the moment it hits that you need that shoulder the most no one is around to care. Family has turned their backs to you, friends are too damn slap jolly to give a shit for you, and so instead of venting the usual passive-aggressive manor, you turn to your oldest buddy: Jack Daniels. Somehow while it doesn?t ease the pain (sometimes makes all worse) it just doesn't matter because you have someone there who feels your pain. Be it an inanimate depressor that poisons you slowly and corrupts the delicate balance of your body, but damnit that buzz is what I really need to keep going. Besides, its one of the best editing tools one could ever have. You can get more inspiration whilst lit that you could nay other time of the day.
Rant for today!
Ricers never fail to amuse me
Last night coming home from a random drive (I do this often,) the road was entirely to myself. I hadn?t passed a car for miles and this stretch is pretty much country anyways, though a 4 lane highway. I was cruising along at my won pace as I often do; I don?t find it necessary to speed excessively so I just go about my business. It wasn?t long before I saw a set of headlight gaining quickly from behind. I knew at the speeds they were traveling that this had to be a group of hotshot punks. Two Honda Civics and an Accord to be exact. The accord?s driver nearly rear-ends me as he screams up to my backside, stopping just inches shy of my bumper, the other two already in the left-hand lane, decide to pull parallel to me and rev their engines and make obscene gestures. Now I am not an easily anger person, but playing pranks like this on the road is just asinine. Disrespect your own car and life, but leave me out of it. Now the driver of the front car decides he?s going to come in, a bit too early I might add, and while he didn?t? hit me it was a damn close fit. So at this point I am officially wolf-packed. I am followed, lead and blocked in by a group of ricers with nothing (apparently) on their minds. Enraged by this act of needless stupidity I hit the clutch and let the rpms drop, and slowing myself to the 50mph range. The chase and sidecar both came down with me, but the lead car apparently wasn?t paying attention, or was just too impressed with himself to slow. Either way this gave me the break I needed; I placed the knob into the 4th and revved my engine one signaling the car next to me that I was about to go. The warning went unyielded and I jammed the gas pedal to the floor, easily breaking through the hole in their blockade. As I am accelerating and look back, right behind the Accord was the good-old back & white, whom apparently had seen at least a moments worth of what had gone on. The accord stopped but his buddies sped up as if to make chase with myself. Now mind you at this point I had capped my speed at 90 mph (55 zone) merely to break away from the masses of stupidity. About a mile down the road and a little over a mile I come to a stop light but neither of the Civics are to be found. Why do people find it necessary to act like a bunch of sugar fueled jackasses? Especially in junk piles like that?! When was the last time you saw a Porsche owner act like a bitch to grab everyone?s attention? That?s because we don?t? have to prove anything. Keep racing on the track, and inanity off the roads. And for the love of God if you have to mod it to hit 120, you have no right to call it a racer; no matter how many ?type R? stickers you slap on there.
Current server time: Mar 07, 2014 17:41:57