standard rant post
I don't have a lot of time to work on AMVs these days. Which really sucks because I have a lot of ideas that I want to bring to life. And because I'd like to have something to enter the AMV contest at Anime Central in May. It takes me a really, really long time to finish videos so I know I'd have to start this before the end of the year, and even that might not give me enough time to finish it before the deadline.
I've been somewhat vocal about my disapproval of contest-mania that's sort of swept through this whole hobby so admitting that probably makes me look like a massive hypocrite. To be honest, the only reason I'd want to enter a contest is because I really want to see something that I've made up on the big screen (or, in the case of ACEN, a kinda-average sized screen, oh well). That's been something I've wanted to experience ever since I started editing, but I've never felt like I've ever been close to being good enough, until now. Okay, even now I have my doubts, but I feel like my ideas this time around are feasible given where I'm at these days. It's something I could pull off, maybe. But I think it would take a very long time to finish. I really should have started it over the summer but I had no motivation, apparently.
When it comes down to it, entering a contest seems like the only way to get people to watch your AMV without whoring yourself out for attention, which I hate to do. This doesn't stop people from going ahead and doing both but you know what I mean.
Even if I never enter a contest, I still want to continue editing. There's 3 or 4 ideas in my head that I'd like to finally <i>do something</i> about but I'm so busy with school right now that I just don't know how I'm going to fit in time to edit (let alone the time-consuming process of planning, preparing sources, etc). It doesn't have to be so difficult. Just set aside a little bit of time each day, right? Well, maybe that's how it works for most people but unfortunately that's not how it goes down when I'm trying to get shit done.
I have a huge paper to work on and 20 days to get it done. I think it has to be 25 pages, I'm not sure. I have 5 pages done, which represents about a month of work. That is what I need to do today, tomorrow, all week long, and every day for the rest of the month. That's what I'll be doing as soon as I post this entry (unless I screw around on the Internet for another hour, which is actually pretty likely).
I think about being creative every day, but I guess I just have a problem doing the hard work that it requires. There's a lot more to that than I'm going to bother typing out here but it's a really big, never-ending source of frustration to me.
I don't expect anyone to find this but I just wanted to rant and there's something about journal entries that allows me to do this without any pressure whereas I could never do this in a blog entry, at least not any more than I already have.
Am I not using the search function correctly or is there not a single Doobie Brothers AMV listed on this entire site?
I don't even want to watch one that badly, I'm just kind of shocked by that and I don't know why.
You found it!
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