JOURNAL: Nightowl (Nathan Bezner)

  • Okay again... 2003-10-29 16:26:02 If anyone has something to say to me personally or concerning the thread I posted, say it to me, or put it in the thread - I don't want to start using this journal as a way to clarify myself or some bizarre message service where it's impossible to keep up with everything everyone says.

    -N 
  • Okay! 2003-10-29 13:21:32 Sarah - there ARE better editors on this site than others. There ARE people with more skill. I happen to love editing and love that a lot of young people are taking an interest in it, as I did. They may not have skill, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't at least understand what they're doing. I'd just like some of the kids out there to pick up a book if they're so interested - it's passion a lot of people seem to be truly lacking these days, not skill. Anyone can edit. Anyone can be decent. Not everyone can be good, and not everyone can be brilliant. But EVERYONE can understand WHY.

    EK - thanks : )

    Well, I'd better make a few more posts in that thread...

    gah... am I making a journal post that addresses people, rather than a post that acts more like a journal? Christ, I've changed...

    -N 
  • I am the DIRECTOR! 2002-10-15 02:11:05 This is the director saying... I've been gone for a couple of days. What in the hell happened in the whosit?! I'm so lost... I'll discuss AUSA later.

    -N 
  • Should I write about AWA? 2002-10-03 18:31:12 Before you read this, if you don't know who I am and you were at AWA, I had bunny ears on. THE ENTIRE TIME.

    So, I've finally recovered a bit from the massive party that is AWA. I don't quite remember what happened, so rather than list off names and give a full con report from point A to B to C, I'm going to go from point A to D to F to Q to 1.113, or some such thing.

    The truth is I injested and injected and inserted so many strange and foreign things into my body that weekend that I honestly cannot remember EXACTLY what happened. But I figure, hey, I NEVER post in my journal, so what the hell.

    First off, lemme tell you kids about the ants. At some point during the con I decided I wanted to drag a couple of people - I remember Hsien and Andy... no, wait, Andy rode with Jessica with someone else, I think... and Jeff being there, Tim was either with us or showed up or wasn't there at all and I imagined it - to make a run for the border. At some point we were going to pick up alcohol as well. I wanted tacos. Anyway, we get to my car, and what do you know - it's covered with ants. Interior and exterior. Being allergic to ants, I became frightened and informed my poor guests that in no way could we travel in my automobile. So I cleaned out my car as best I could and moved it to a no parking zone. The gorup of us stood around as I floundered about screaming "WHAT IN THE FUCK." Eventually, Mike Barranti practically cleaned my car for me because he's awesome. Jeff tried to get the hotel folk to help but they didn't seem to care too much. At least they didn't tow my car. It was at this point I saw Kathryn and Valerie. Valerie was, as always, incredibly nice and cordial, sweet and a wonderful friend. Kathryn looked upset. I don't know if she still holds a grudge against me, but hey, she looked pissed... I didn't see them again the entire weekend.

    Anyway, the ants pissed me off. An entire colony took over my car. It is now clean and the ants are gone.

    Okay, the con itself... what do I remember. I remember when Mike and I were drunk on Thurs. and he wandered into a random room party where we found two very flirtatious girls. Things... happened in that room. I remember at some time, after Mike had vommited and I was back in the room with Andy (not Paizuri, but rather, brilliant writer Andy) and one of the girls ended up kissing me (it had something to do with my bunny ears). She asked what she had to do to keep the ears, and I told her there was no way in hell she could keep those ears. She was upset and got off of me. I eventually showed her a picture of my beloved Mint, and I believe she got the idea. Maybe not... I did meet up with her later, after the absinthe (among other things). NOTHING HAPPENED, but... it was still strange.

    I remember the other girl from that room kissing me when I stopped by their room with Mike and Andy, then kissing me again in the hallway while I was walking to the dance with Paizuri and Jesscaflowne. That was fun. Mint, if you're reading this, they kissed me and I had no control over the matter. It came as a surprise.

    Okay, what else happened... I remember meeting Carlos, MexicanJunior, and ErMaC... I know it wasn't all at the same time, but it feels like it. I'm pretty sure for the rest of the weekend I would stumble over to them and yell out "DUDE! What the fuck is up! Fuck! Yeah, you guys are awesome..." or something to that effect.

    Ian provided me with Absinthe and made a lifelong friend. I use to go to this little underground Absinthe bar when I lived in Brooklyn and it brought back memories.

    I also remember hanging out with EK at Let's Classy... she introduced me to Brett at some point, and I'm sure I made a fool of myself, as I probably mumbled something incoherent. I ended up buying all of her original sketches for Failed Experiments for $400, thanks to Vlad, who attempted to outbid me. At least I can say "blame Canada" and mean it.

    Hung out with Vlad a lot... always a pleasure to see him, I still love his editing technique.

    Lessee... OKAY, we'll back up a bit. Well, a lot. I came down to AWA on Mon. to deliver my DDR track personally to Pat (quu). You see, my cable modem caught on fire. It has been fixed now. I ended up hanging out there with Brad DeMoss and Vlad for a couple of days until the con. I helped out with DDR and even made a video one sleepless night. That was a lot of fun, though I saw more AMVs in my time there than at AWA or... well, ever. I also hung out with Nigel O'Rear (and I hope to god I spelled your name correctly - if not, I understand if you never want to speak with me again) and Amanda, a stand up girl who reminded me of most of my New York friends... You're a great person, Amanda, and I hope we get to drink and smoke together again sometime.

    I remember meeting jbone - I'm told I yelled out "MOTHERFUCKER!" then talked at him for what seemed like 18 hours but was probably thirty seconds. I don't think he ever said a word to me... sorry about that...

    What else do I remember... Hung out with Hsien, made him vomit... humg out with Jason, watched him drink wine... held hands with Andy at the awards ceremony (call me, bitch)... talked with Matt Wagner briefly at closing ceremonies (thank you again)... ummm... I have tons of stories that aren't forming in my head right now.

    There was "titty-bitch," that was funny.

    Okay, there was this woman out on the patio. She was flashing everyone and these two guys were groping and sucking upon her breasts. Mike got pictures on my camera. So we're all inside - me, Mike, Andy, Monica Rial, and... some other people... I was pretty out of it by that point... and this guy in a pink boa walks by and says "Where titty-bitch at?" God, that was funny. Then he comes back thirty seconds later and just goes "DAMN." That was really funny.

    Ah yes, and there was the ADV party. That was crazy. I ended up going to an ADV pajama party with Joe and Mike, invited (or rather told by) Pat. I ended up meeting my new favorite person, Monica Rial. She does a great job as Hyatt's dub in Excel Saga and I'm very happy to have met a voice actor who smokes. Because CIGARETTES ARE GOOD FOR YOU. I ended up hanging out with those guys for quite some time. I remember taking Hsien there at some point... I was quite drunk.

    I'm trying to remember other things, but can't quite off the top of my head... I remember hanging out with Will, sipping Absinthe...

    Honestly, so much happened, and I did so much shit, that's all I can remember at the moment. I'll come back in a couple more days and attempt to regail you bastards with more tales of debauchery. Christ... so much happened... sleep is now, I'll be back later.

    Wow... my first non-bitter journal entry... wow...

    Oh, and I won Best Video in Pro Contest. Yeah for me and Jeff! I think... I'm always afraid of the flames, ever since Love is Flowers... Later for now, kids...

    -N 
  • You will all die 2002-09-10 01:02:34 Someone is IMing me... Someone I do not know. This person is speaking in a language I am not familiar with. It started this afternoon... or was it this evening? Time is no longer relevant. This person. This person with the screen name Fbelma. This person is iming me in another language. It claims to know me in english... it claims... I know nothing about this... thing... this person who may or may not exist. It claims to know me and I do not know it. I think perhaps someone is fucking with me. I slowly lose it, then call the one I care for, and she calms me. All is well. Right? But this other language bothers me. Is it an internet prank? Is it someone I know fucking with me? I'm not sure...

    I leave it alone for awhile.

    Then... oh, then... I get another.

    and another.

    and a no ther. They continue. People I do not know, their screen names unfamiliar. Who are they? Who is invading my life, my space, my person? WHO ARE YOU, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS?!

    They continue. Through the night. Into the morning, I'm certain they will persist.

    Why I don't run away... I could simply quit AIM and they would cease... but their meaningless drivel, it seeps into my thoughts, my very sanity is tipping over... the curiosity as to who these people are... I am drinking more. Smoking more. My medication is no longer with me. I fear I may fall back into that cold, dark abyss where I shall not return. WHO ARE THEY?!

    Can you hear me.

    I SAY can you HEAR ME FUCKERS?!

    I think now that there is a cult of internet dwellers somewhere in the world, preying upon me, hoping to destroy my sanity again... This cult is out to get me. I must protect myself. I will sleep with my chainsaw tonight... they can try to get me, but I'll be ready... And even if you people aren't a cult... if you're just a bunch of dumb shits who happen to know me, if you're out there, if you're reading this, you're going down. I'm coming to get you all. This will not go unpunished. I will make you feel pain like you couldn't possibly imagine.



    Oh... for you AMV people reading this, two of the videos on the Pro tapes for AWA were utter brilliance. So I suppose there is some creativity left in this dim little community. Carry on... be in touch with that. Embrace it.

    And for the rest of you out there, the ones still reading, all is right with the world in most other areas... I am, once again, in some kind of state of love. Such a strong word... I care for her... I cannot wait to see her again... but I cannot say the word just yet. It's too soon. But I will... I swear, I will...

    I may be damaged, but I'm still mostly here... mostly.

    -N 
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