Sephiroth (Isaac Fischer)
I hate being Ill
i used to not mind getting sick when i was a kid at least id get time off from school because of it. Now it really messes me up. The reality of growing up hit's you the hardest at times like this. I found that interstella was still going on so i'm going to have to finish up my track for them. I made the mistake of thinking the project was done with since there were few updates.
3 months is more then enough time to think that a project is over with. I guess i'm glad it's not. Looks like i'm going to add project 5555 to the list of multi creator projects i worked on. Though i do feel it's kind of sad that the highest rated AMVs in my profile are all animix. It's basicly a mixed blessing It's the only thing beside Gravity of Utena that ive been e-mailed on. The popularity of both kind of confuses me since i view myself as having done better work. Sonce again a mixed blessing.
I am having trouble liking any videos lately, heck even editing is having it's problems it's like my insperation has gone to a low that it may not recover from. Supposedly this is a phase that all AMV creators meet if you stay around long enough. That you just stop caring. Though unlike most of the people that got these feelings. I am not planning on leaving the AMV comunity.
This sickness seems to represent my current state of life pretty well now that i think about it. I am currently stuck at an impass. I can't quite move forwards but i can't move back ether, in part because of what i'm doing to myself. My own lazyness is really getting in my way, i get distracted with media a bit to easy. Perhaps because i love it more then the work i'm doing. I'm sure this is one of those life lessions i'll have to learn.
The one other thing that has happened to me latly is that i feel old. I'm 20 yet i feel so old. Perhaps it's because of the way i rate myself being into anime for 10 years and making AMVs for about 5 really has you look around and realize that by some measure you are now an old fart. Anyways i hate being ill.
Lets start again.
Hmm what to talk about. Well lets see, 3 months i tried to get DSL or cable and i couldn't . yet i live next to the comcast building. So the world is full of alot of rediculess and hypocritical things. What's a person really supposed to do. I havent been able to really get anything done AMV and non AMV related. MY newest video is still in the midst of being started. I just can't seem to find the time to do it. I barly am on track with my school work.
Ive also been thinking about finally getting a new computer. Ive been making AMVs with the same computer for 5 years. I don't know how much longer i can really stand this. I end up useing low quality divx because my computer can't handle things like huffy without crashing Media player. It is really starting to get on my nervs. Since all that matters is edit ing id assume people would be more tolerant of noise. But it seems like people care more about image quality then actual editing, this is driving me nuts to. I still have all of my premier files so if i ever do get a new computer, i'm going to get one with multible terabyte hard drives. Rerip all my footage as uncompressed and show all those tech anal people my videos.
Lifes going ok otherwise. I just need to make sure i don't drag behind on my school work. And i will get my video done probubly when i have vacation time in winter.
TO any editor reading never let anyone get you down over stupid things. I'm starting to beleave that some of the better editors are Windows movie maker ones.
Why the hell not
I guess i should write down some of my thoughts. Though I wonder why i even should. I havent really done anything yet that deservs some real attention in the minds of everyone. I'm just another AMV maker.
I could make this private, but I wont. I don't see a reason to. The DDR project track that ive been assighned is done. There's a small instance in it were it's kind of slow. But i want some slowdown right before the big fight sceens that are in my AMV.
Sometimes it really get to me how limeted i can be some times. AMVs are a really interesting art form since everything that your messing with already exists. I wonder what it's like to help make an episode of a series and then watch it on TV. Somone's edited that footage together from shots that were taken by somone else. A series of shots. that were shot apart from each other get put together to make some sort of a story that people can watch and accept. So when people get mad at useing footage from another AMVs (another editor) I do not see the difference between useing the edits from a recently released product, from taking it from a AMV you download. No matter what we are useing the edits of somone else in what we do.
I'm not sure how anyone will feal about what ive just typed though please unerstand that you chose to look at this.
Current server time: May 29, 2016 07:52:06