Anime Music Videos As Weapons


Tsunami Jones (Mark Reagan)

Having read the title, you might be asking yourself, "Can Anime Music Videos really be used as weapons?" Even the most jaded skeptic might question the very idea of this, but whether it be at thirty feet or thirty thousand feet, Anime Music Videos can be effectively used to fend off muggers, stalkers and even the rabid fanboy/girl.

1. A Short History of AMVs and Their Martial Effectiveness

Before you learn any techniques or methods for using Anime Music Videos as weapons, it is important to know and realize the origins of how such things were made and who first began to realize their martial potential.

Hundreds of years ago (if not thousands), people who came before us that we can only comprehend as savage primitives, made AMVs using a device known only as a Video Cassette Recorder (VCR). How they used such a device in the creation of these music videos is unknown to us today, but it is believed that perhaps more than one at a time was used in their making.

Originally, only anime considered classic by modern standards were used in the making of these fan produced videos. Kimagure Orange Road and Mobile Suit Gundam were among these.

The music for these videos was not what is common today, but was instead tribal music that was performed perhaps to please whatever gods these savages worshiped.

The first instance in recorded history of Anime Music Videos being used as weapons dates back to the Eighth Century during the Viking invasion of Britain, where Viking raiders would brutally bludgeon men to death with their oversized AMV-laden cassette tapes. These early methods for using Anime Music Videos in warfare were quite brutal and lacked the finesse seen in later times, especially when compared against the methods used by the near mythical ninja.

The masters of stealth that we know today as the ninja were skilled warriors known for their numerous killing techniques. Realizing that cassette tapes were only useful in hand-to-hand combat, they invented a device which is still used today for storing AMVs - the compact disc. These discs were quite popular and could store many videos while remaining small and compact, making them ideal for distribution, and making them ideal for ranged combat. A disc thrown with enough force and accuracy could overthrow even the largest opponent in a single shot. Today these compact discs have only been surpassed by one thing, the DVD.

Today, the Digital Versatile Disc (and even the CD to some extent) are the preferred means of distributing AMVs by hand, with the authored DVD being most effective. Any of these methods are quite functional, especially at conventions, where any type of weapon will be peace bonded. DVDs and CDs are quite abundant at such events, and no one will look twice at you for carrying them. For less personal distribution, the internet is used, with hosting provided by oneself or by This can also make an effective way of unexpected digital assault.

2. Techniques

The first two techniques we'll be looking at are quite common and quite effective. Both use CDs and DVDs containing AMVs for use. You might wish to use CDs and DVDs containing other media (or perhaps nothing at all), but to do so is to commit serious folly. It has been scientifically proven that either of these devices will do significantly more damage with AMVs on them than without.

The first technique is quite simple, and anyone familiar with throwing a common frisbee will pick it up quickly. Hold the disc between the thumb and middle finger right near the edge, with the forefinger on the edge itself. By bringing the wrist back and then snapping it forward, the disc will be propelled forward. By adding in arm motion, the disc may be thrown with significant force and will travel a greater distance than normally possible.

The second technique is a bit more difficult to use properly, but can cause even more damage. Use your thumb to grip the disc near the edge against the side of your forefinger. Raise your arm above and behind your head, and allow the disc to hang loosely, and then quickly snap it forward, releasing it level to your neck. This method can be quite deadly especially when lunging forward to increase speed and force through your body's momentum.

To be effective, one needs to aim at specific points on the body to inflict the maximum damage necessary to incapacitate one's foes. You should be aiming for the eyes, the jugular, the temples, where the spine meets the skull, and the groin. The eyes are especially good targets, as the pain is quite high and the possibility of successful retributive attacks is quite slim. Several AMV creators - creators tend to be quite skilled at using AMVs as weapons - have developed protections against this vulnerable area.

If you go to any convention, you'll notice people wearing protective eye wear commonly known as "glasses." While normal people may use these to compensate for an impairment in vision, the best creators instead use them to protect against getting hit in the eyes from unexpected discs. Several examples include AbsoluteDestiny and Fluxmeister, who have survived multiple attacks due to these spectacles.

The third technique involves the video itself. By making a video with as many flashes and as many effects as possible, it is possible to hypnotize and entrance the unwary viewer. This has several uses. If such a video is given over the internet, it has the potential to keep the viewer in front of his computer for days, weeks, and possibly even months, at which point they will die (or already be dead) from dehydration and starvation. If shown at a convention, this type of video can provide a distraction by entrancing the viewers, allowing you to take down your target without the possibility of being seen. You must beware of using this method on other AMV editors. Many of them will see through the effects, and will possibly even become driven into a great fury.

3. Advanced Techniques

One of the most advanced techniques is also one of the hardest to use. Mastery of it can mean survival, and several creators - such as Koopiskeva and DWChang - have used it to fend off hordes of unexpected - and rabid - fangirls. Take four discs and hold them in your hand in the position as seen in the image on the right. When thrown with the first technique, the discs will immediately spread, possibly taking out four opponents in one fell swoop.

Many scoff at this next technique, but it can be quite useful when in crowded hallways and other times when your target may be obscured by other obstacles. By throwing a disc with great force and accuracy, it is possible to ricochet your projectile off walls, the floor and ceiling, even the various props of unknowing cosplayers, and still reach your target. This is quite difficult to do, and requires much practice to successfully master.