If I were a country I'd be Iran

[godix]

Think about it, Iran pulled some fairly harmless but very annoying troll for about a week. During this time the UK proved it's the excessively stupid biter in the national arena. You'd think some trolls are too obvious but no, UK bite that shit so hard they probably chipped a tooth on it. "Oh no, the military shouldn't actually try defending themselves" "We're gonna get tough, we're gonna release GPS coordinates all over your ass!" "We're gonna go tell everyone else what you did and they'll make you sorry!" Eventually when the joke started to quit being funny Iran let the hostages go. But they weren't done yet, in a move designed to kick the nation of homosexual butlers while they were down on their knees begging for ANYONE to take them seriously, they urged <i>British</i> authorities to not prosecute the soldiers for violating Irans waters. Now of course, the soldiers are telling about how horrible their treatment was and Irans response is that they're saying this because British authorities are forcing them to. International news hasn't been this humorous since Hitler not only convinced Chamberlain that he was peaceful, he set Chamberlain out to do Hitler's trolling for him (notice it was the UK that bit that one as well?). I don't know what it is about brutal dictatorial madmen but they have the coolest senses of humor.

So what nation are you? Don't say Venezuela. It's already claimed. Any nation that small, insignificant, boring, and pathetic that still bitches and whines while pretending it has any power at all must clearly be Whee_it's_me.

[Minion]

one of our little hyper donator's is gonna claim japan.
so i'm claiming it first just to dick with them.
*japan, fuckers

[SilversLightning]

I call Egypt just because I can

[madbunny]

Godix, I kind of figured you for a North Korea kind of guy.

Seriously, there is a country that has been giving the world the finger for years.
Doesn't give a flying crap about it's people, likes to piss other countries off, just to see what they'll do, and has a complete nutjob as a leader. (worlds largest PORN collection? is this the sort of thing leaders of countries need to brag about?)

[Otohiko]

Russia, of course

I'm huge and intimidating, but not actually that dangerous. Pragmatic, but weary of everything. Has some bright minds and good moments, but otherwise consistently screwed up by its/my own lazyness and lack of direction. Dabbles in socialism.

[JaddziaDax]

i claim the moon, because the moon rulz

[Flint the Dwarf]

Sweden. The best music comes from there. Or maybe Germany...

[oldwrench]

Erehwon, I live right in the center of it.

Maybe China, soon they might rule the world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njyFVL7eK_g

[godix]

one of our little hyper donator's is gonna claim japan.
so i'm claiming it first just to dick with them.
*japan, fuckers

Actually Japan kinda fits you. A country that sells used girls undies in a vending machine, has had to make female only train cars because the women keep getting molested, and without a doubt is the biggest 'me too' culture in the world sounds just like you and your 4chan memes...

Godix, I kind of figured you for a North Korea kind of guy.

Nah, NK are a bunch of humorless bastards. There's a difference between telling someone to go fuck themselves and telling them to go fuck themselves right after you just made them look like a total fool. Iran has NK beat hands down for that.

Russia, of course

I'm huge and intimidating, but not actually that dangerous. Pragmatic, but weary of everything. Has some bright minds and good moments, but otherwise consistently screwed up by its/my own lazyness and lack of direction. Dabbles in socialism.

I was under the impression that you aren't drunk all the time?

i claim the moon

So you're huge, barren, covered in pock marks, go through radical changes once a month, and some people consider the chances of a man being with you so remote that they call the entire idea a conspiracy theory? I wouldn't admit that in public if I were you.

[SilversLightning]

that pretty much describes every teenage female on the planet XD