MY DUB RANT (Sailor Moon mostly, but other dubs a little)

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Garylisk
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MY DUB RANT (Sailor Moon mostly, but other dubs a little)

Post by Garylisk » Mon Jul 29, 2002 5:10 am

This rant was made in another thread, but it was so beautiful, I thought it should get a thread all of its own!


No Sailor Mars does not have a penis.
And no, I don't think there will be an uncut dub version. And thank god, what horrible voice acting! Sailor Moon is at the top of my list for bad dubs. I would rather scrape my eardrums out with strands of barbed wire than listen to those horrendous voices. Even dub enthusiasts usually agree that Sailor Moon's dub is the worst ever made, preiod, end of story. Even if you hate Japanese voices, and hate reading subtitles, you'll find yourself thanking the heavens again and again that you don't have to listen to the English voices!

Now, back to the penis thing.. Sailor Mars doesn't have a penis.. however, Sailor Uranus is a total butch-dyke! :P Just watch the uncut version of season 3 that Pioneer has already released. And yeah, you can watch the dub of that uncut if you really wanna hurt your braina nd watch as some of the best characters in all of anime are made to sound idiotic and stupid, as well as having their names changed... Uh oh, here comes a rant!!!

-Sailor Moon, Usagi had her named changed to Serena. I am guessing this is because her past life was Princess Serenity from the Moon Kingdom. Of course, that should have had no impact on what her parents named her, but hey, why ask questions when looking at what stupid, retarted, idiotic dubbers have done to this beautiful show.
-Sailor Mercury, Ami - It seems Americans can't handle that her name ends in an I, so they changed her name to Amy.
-Sailor Mars, Rei - Her name just had a spelling change, too. She's Raye in the dub.
-Sailor Jupiter, Makoto, has the most inexplicable name change of all. Somehow they decided that her name should be Lita... WHY THE F*CK IS HER NAME LITA????! WHO THE F*CK WOULD NAME THEIR KID LITA????! It's like "Yo, I'm finna go to the store and get me a lita of soda!" Jesus H f*cking christ on crutches!!
-Sailor Venus, Minako. This name was apparently much too long for American audiences, so they changed it to Mina. In the actual show, Artemis sometimes calls her Mina to be cute, but her name is Minako, not Mina god damn it!
-Sailor Chibi-Moon, Usagi, Nicknamed Chibiusa - Her name got changed to.. this is so classic.. RINI!!! WHAT THE F*CK KIND OF NAME IS THAT???! RINI!!?? HAHAHAHA!! To top it all off, they changed her Sailor Soldier name to "Sailor Mini-Moon"! What's funnier is that they did this AFTER Austin Powers 2 was out! They should have known better! I can see it now.. Sailor Moon looking down at Chibiusa, all like "I will call her.. Mini-Me!"
-Sailor Uranus, Haruka was changed to Amara. I just don't get it.
-Sailor Neptune, Michiru was changed to Michelle. This kinda makes sense I guess...
-Sailor Saturn, Hotaru... Her name was not changed! Why change the others, then??
-Sailor Pluto, Setsuna - I actually don't know what they changed her name to! I hate watching that damned dub!
-Tuxedo Kamen, or Tuxedo Mask, Mamoru - His name got changed to Darien. Why Darien of all names? Hey, here's a novel idea.. leave his name alone!

Here's some other inexplicable name changes!

Umino - Melvin
Naru - Molly
Motoki - Andrew
Jadite - Jedite
Kunzite - Malochite (???!)
Dark Kingdom - The Negaverse
Queen Metalia - The Negaverse
Black Moon - The Negaverse
Planet Nemesis - The Negaverse
MTV - The Negaverse (OK, just kidding...)
America - The Negaverse (Get the picture?)
Makaiju - DOOM TREE :P
Ail - Alan
Seijuro - Alan
Natsumi - Ann
Death Phantom - Doom Phantom

There's tons more, I won't list them all, it'd take too long!

To top it all off, this evil NEGAVERSE sending out its NEGA-ENERGY using NEGA-MONSTERS and NEGA-EVIL keeps attacking Earth, but uses different people, making the plot too hard to follow seeing as its been rewritten anyway.

And another thing! Any dub that uses the word "dweeb", "Nutzoid", or "mondo" too much is DOOMED TO BE BAD!!

And here's the best part.. I had the misfortune of watching an episode of the season 3 dub a while back.. and I had to turn it off in disgust, because I heard this line come out of Sailor Uranus' mouth:
"Man, that's whack!"

HOLY SH*T!! TURN IT OFF, NOW!!!!!!!

If this hasn't gotten through your dub-loving head yet (If you're a dub lover anyway) - Let me put it to your straight up in the same way I speak of almost any dub... "YOU ARE GETTING A SECOND-RATE EXPERIENCE!" Not only are you missing out on the actual voice acting, but the dialogue, story, names, plot elements, emotion, meaning, and point of ANYTHING could be changed and you'd might never know. This is ESPECIALLY true with Sailor Moon. GIVE UP THE DUB AND BE SAVED!

That is all.
Alcohol, Drugs, Overdrive, Noise, Neon Lights, Party People, Revolution

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Post by Beefmaster10000 » Mon Jul 29, 2002 5:19 am

I'm going to hurt you now.

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Post by Garylisk » Mon Jul 29, 2002 5:22 am

I REPEAT - "Man, that's whack!"

RIGHT OUT OF HARUKA'S... err.. I'm sorry.. AMARA'S MOUTH!!

I think that's all that need be said in my defnse on this point :P
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Post by Beefmaster10000 » Mon Jul 29, 2002 5:24 am

I think I need to Goku your ass. Dubs rule. I like Dubs, and I will continue to like them just to spit you.

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Post by Garylisk » Mon Jul 29, 2002 5:27 am

Beefmaster10000 wrote:I think I need to Goku your ass. Dubs rule. I like Dubs, and I will continue to like them just to spit you.
And let me guess, you mean the American "Surfer Goku", right? :P He needs to go catch a few waves and let someone else take over the voice.
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Post by Garylisk » Mon Jul 29, 2002 5:38 am

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Post by Beefmaster10000 » Mon Jul 29, 2002 5:40 am

Nope, I don't mean that. I will give you a swift smack to the nuts, which will render you immobile for a short while.

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Post by Garylisk » Mon Jul 29, 2002 5:48 am

Beefmaster10000 wrote:Nope, I don't mean that. I will give you a swift smack to the nuts, which will render you immobile for a short while.
Man, that's whack.
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Post by klinky » Mon Jul 29, 2002 6:10 am

That actually your sexually charged voice there?


Or am I mistaken?



~kinky

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Post by klinky » Mon Jul 29, 2002 6:10 am

klinky wrote:That actually your sexually charged voice there?


Or am I mistaken?



~kinky <----freudian(sp) slip.....

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