Lets re-write The Bible...

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Lets re-write The Bible...

Postby Zerophite » Wed Jan 15, 2003 10:51 am

You know, using musical icons. Who do you think goes where?
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Postby Cardinal.jpg » Wed Jan 15, 2003 3:07 pm

Well I'm sure many musicians have portrayed the devil at some time or another.
Dave Grohl being the most well known in Tribute.
My favourite was Maynard James Keenan in Bikini Babes though.
I'm sure there are many more, all musos like to be linked with the deivl in some way (excluding religous groups).

The problem is that do you redefine the bible with actual God related bands in God related positions (POD in a holy role) and vice versa (Slayer in Hell). Or do you base it on music that changed our world for good or bad (Beatles as God and Iggy Pop as the Devil). I think we should get that established first.
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Postby Zerophite » Wed Jan 15, 2003 3:24 pm

maybe I should restate it as a question.

If you were to take the characters from the bible, and replace them with musicians, who would be whom?
"axis discrepancy indicates hexagons beyond control anomaly
mutilation colony reflects no triangular energy
asynchronous matter avoided by a diagram invisibility
subtle methods symmetry uncovered a diagonal telemetry"
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Postby Double O Ninety » Wed Jan 15, 2003 3:32 pm

Britney Spears is the Virgin Mary!!

Lil bow wow is baby jesus.
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Postby Cardinal.jpg » Wed Jan 15, 2003 3:52 pm

OKay.
Tool as a collective supreme being.
RATM as an enforcement unit of angels.
MTV HQ as Hell.
Kelts Bar (my favourite live music venue) as an Eden.
Michael Franti as Jesus (the peace advocating one, not the hidden from text one).
Mercury Rev, Sparklehorse and Augie March as his diciples.
Ja Rule as Pontius Pilot.
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Postby Double O Ninety » Wed Jan 15, 2003 4:56 pm

Orlando Bloom can be Abraham as long as he dresses like Legolas, because old Abe gets Sarah, no? :wink:
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Postby the Black Monarch » Thu Jan 16, 2003 2:17 am

Stan Bush would be God, because he is.

Eminem would be Satan, because he is.

Madonna would be the Virgin Mary, even though Madonna is one of the most un-virgin people on the planet, because apparently Madonna used to have some kind of wierd obsession with Mary. I don't get it either, but it somehow works in my twisted little mind.

The Backstreet Boys would take turns being Jesus, because they get so much shit from so many people and yet they don't retaliate and their fans still love them.

Linkin Park would be themselves. Of course they're in the Bible. I don't know where, but they're in there somewhere, trust me.

Rob Zombie, Marylin Manson, Metallica, Tool, Rage Against the Machine, Korn, Limp Bizkit, Powerman 5000, and all those other shitty untalented metal bands would be Satan's bitches, as would every rapper except Will Smith, MC Hammer, Crazy Town, and the guy from Linkin Park who does the rapping. Iron Maiden and System of a Down, however, are okay.

Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake would be Adam and Eve, because together they would spawn the stupidest, sluttiest, most superficial species on the planet (humanity).

The Unabomber would be Noah, 'cause it would be hella funny.

And, of course, Judas would be the record companies :)
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Postby Chaos Angel » Thu Jan 16, 2003 11:48 am

I'd make Trent Reznor from NIN the prophet Isaiah, for no reason other than it'ds be interesting, and Methusalah would be anyone from ZZ Top, if they're still alive. ;)

Dave Groehl from Foo Fighters would be Pontius Pilate, again for no particular reason other than it'd be interesting, Judas would be Jack Black, because I love the idea of Judas singing Fuck Her Gently during the Last Supper, right after communion no less, Samson would be Barry White because he's got the voice for it, with Pink as Delilah, Adam and Eve would be Raine Maida of Our Lady Peace, and Gwen Stefani of No Doubt. Uriah (the man David had killed to get Bathsheba) would be Vanilla Ice, David would be Scott Stapp of Creed, and Bathsheba would be Missy Elliot.

Jesus? Jesus would be Sawao Yamanaka of The Pillows. ;)
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Postby Double O Ninety » Thu Jan 16, 2003 3:33 pm

Umm, Madonna means 'Mother of Christ'

That's why she'd be Mary...
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Postby jonmartensen » Thu Jan 16, 2003 7:24 pm

Dude, Jesus would have to be Snoop Dogg, he's black!

The three wise men....Well DUH! the BEASTIE BOYS
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Postby CaTaClYsM » Thu Jan 16, 2003 9:20 pm

Jesus would be Meralyn Manson
The virgin mary would be Gwen from no doubt
God would Jimmie Hendrix
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Postby FATTY_VM » Thu Jan 16, 2003 9:30 pm

moses would be Tupac .. he helped lead his people into the promise land.
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Postby Double O Ninety » Fri Jan 17, 2003 10:01 am

God would be Elvis.
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Postby BigshotSpike » Fri Jan 17, 2003 7:16 pm

Yoshiki as Jesus
Billy Corgan as God


yeah....there ya go :roll:
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Postby Double O Ninety » Fri Jan 17, 2003 10:11 pm

Saint Peter=Tom Jones
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