
dj_ultima_the_great wrote:So.?? I made a new friend.
See, I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't consider myself friends with people that I only see at work (or as it was a few year ago, during classes)? I don't think of a person as a friend until he or she has spent some time with me outside of that environment, where we aren't restricted by time or obligations. It's the difference between seeing that person by chance and seeing them by choice. If you go out of your way to be around me, then that says you want a relationship, not that I am just a substitute until you can get home to real friends.
That said, I consider myself to have very, very few friends. I wanted to explain that so that you'd understand why it is a huge deal that last night I went out for coffee with a person (other than my best friend) for the first time in probably four years or more (probably more, since I stopped trying to be sociable around my third year of college)? We sat and chatted over coffee and pie for about three hours, which is much longer than I expected him to stick around, as I am very awkward naturally and even moreso due to lack of social experience any time recently. We managed to really hit it off, though, and he seemed more than happy to plan more outings in the future.
This is really strange to me. I've gotten so used to people being uncomfortable around me when I try to be friendly, or thinking that I'm some kind of dump tank for their bitching and problems that they talk at me instead of with me. With the way my current friendships seem to be strained and broken, I've been needing an injection of new blood into my life - and then, suddenly, in waltzes this guy who has a ton of common interests, isn't weird around me, and genuinely seems engaged in our conversations. It's the first good luck I've had in years.
So I made a new friend, and although it is tentative and delicate, I'm happy right now. I'm not hanging my hopes on anything yet, but it's a good start.
BasharOfTheAges wrote:It's seriously great to hear (read?) you in a good mood.

Pwolf wrote:*like*



dj_ultima_the_great wrote:So.?? I made a new friend.
See, I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't consider myself friends with people that I only see at work (or as it was a few year ago, during classes)? I don't think of a person as a friend until he or she has spent some time with me outside of that environment, where we aren't restricted by time or obligations. It's the difference between seeing that person by chance and seeing them by choice. If you go out of your way to be around me, then that says you want a relationship, not that I am just a substitute until you can get home to real friends.
That said, I consider myself to have very, very few friends. I wanted to explain that so that you'd understand why it is a huge deal that last night I went out for coffee with a person (other than my best friend) for the first time in probably four years or more (probably more, since I stopped trying to be sociable around my third year of college)? We sat and chatted over coffee and pie for about three hours, which is much longer than I expected him to stick around, as I am very awkward naturally and even moreso due to lack of social experience any time recently. We managed to really hit it off, though, and he seemed more than happy to plan more outings in the future.
This is really strange to me. I've gotten so used to people being uncomfortable around me when I try to be friendly, or thinking that I'm some kind of dump tank for their bitching and problems that they talk at me instead of with me. With the way my current friendships seem to be strained and broken, I've been needing an injection of new blood into my life - and then, suddenly, in waltzes this guy who has a ton of common interests, isn't weird around me, and genuinely seems engaged in our conversations. It's the first good luck I've had in years.
So I made a new friend, and although it is tentative and delicate, I'm happy right now. I'm not hanging my hopes on anything yet, but it's a good start.

lloyd9988 wrote:He might like you.Anyway, good luck!

dj_ultima_the_great wrote:Ha, thanks for the well wishes, but definitely a "no" on that theory. He is MAJORLY hung up on one of his other female friends (who already has a boyfriend) and he openly admits to being in love with her for the last six years. I tried to get him to see the futility of attempting to win the affections of someone who is just not attracted to you, but it's pretty clear to me that the only way he'll learn is through firsthand heartbreak. Sometimes you just gotta let people make their own mistakes, especially when dealing with love.
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