Everything. Just everything.
I've been waiting over a month to start this job. I needed this job. I've been in training for three and half weeks. I've been on time, early even, every day since I started. I've been actively participating in the classes, despite the terrible, terrible, awful classmates I had.
We went upstairs two weeks ago to listen to other employees take calls. Then we went up to use the computers on calls while our "phone buddies" talked to the customer. After we were finished, the phone buddy and the trainees each wrote notes, good and bad, on the other. Of course, my phone buddy was a cunt. She complained because I was eating pomegranate seeds, which I chew on so that I don't chew on my fingernails. Between that and the fact that I resized a fucking window on her computer while I was using it, I was somehow disrespecting her workspace, so badly in fact, that I had to be talked to by two mangers about my unprofessional behaviour. (A classmate and I also put my feet up on an empty chair during one of my breaks. My trainer got onto me for it, and I immediately stopped, but it was still brought up as my unprofessional behaviour. This I understand more, but really, I stopped when asked. And I didn't realize that it would be an issue, considering that that is exactly what every manager I've ever had has done, so...) Anyway, if I had realized that we were going to be über-cunts with our reports, I would have mentioned her grilling me on things I hadn't learned and calling a customer a 'bitch' after one of the calls.
I was five minutes late to work yesterday because of an accident on the Howard-Franklin bridge. Our trainer didn't ask why I was late. Ten minutes later, Alicia walks in, and our trainer asks her about traffic and whatnot. And when I asked her if I should report it on my time card or if she was going to do it, she scolded me because I'm not supposed to be logged in under my ID (which I brought up to check my company e-mail, ask my manager for overtime, and report my tardiness); we're supposed to use the training IDs in class (which have no access to any of those systems and can access all of the systems we need for class).
Today, my alarm clock didn't wake me; I was late. I came in and our trainer asked me why I was late. I explained that my alarm either didn't wake me, didn't go off, or the power was out (I can't tell because the clock keeps track of, but doesn't display time while off). She asked me why I didn't call Nancy (an unrelated manager that we report tardiness too) to which I replied that my phone didn't work. This is something she knew about because I had complained the week before and spent every minute of break time, including lunch, on someone else's phone with technical support trying to figure it out.
Her: "Why didn't you use another phone?"
Me: "I actually tried. I used my fiancée's phone. I don't know Nancy's number and I actually don't know her last name. I asked the operator to direct me to Nancy, but understandably, she didn't know which to direct me to. She tried one; it went to voicemail; it was the wrong Nancy; I left because I still needed to be at work. What is her last name by the way?"
Her: "Her last name is Gibney. Why don't you have her number? You were given her number on the first day."
Me: "And I put it in my phone, which I had to reset when it stopped working."
Her: "Do you want me to give you her number?"
I then wrote it down. But that didn't matter, because I was fired later in the day. I was told that it was because of my continuing unprofessional behaviour. Upon inquiry, she told me that it was because of my tardiness two days in a row and swearing. I just wanted to punch every single mother fucker in that building. Seriously, our trainer swore in class on more than one occasion. Two of my classmates swore repeatedly as well, not to mention my phone buddy. One of my classmates listened to fucking Chris Rock's stand-up in the classroom during breaks... without headphones. And save for the two days I mentioned, I was never tardy. My classmates however, even our trainer, were tardy often. In fact, it was a running gag in class that one student in particular was late coming back from every single break and lunch.
I was fired.
I tried to hold my tongue as well as I possibly could and only a few swears slipped through. I was the best student in the class. I came in without sleep, food, or drink the morning of the midterm. I took the test while half asleep and finished it in an hour and a half of the allotted four hours. And I aced it.
I was fired.
I was the only person in the class to pay attention during the customer service orientations.
I was fired. Fucking horse shit. I needed this job. I have so little money right now that I have two pairs of clothes that are appropriate for work and I've been wearing them every other day since I started. I have so little money that I had to wear them without washing them this week. I am in debt with so many people.
Seriously, I feel like I have a target on my back. I can't just be as good as everyone else. I have to be better or I get picked off. I have to hang out in a crowd of bad employees and not act like any of them or I get singled out.
I can't even give up. I have an incredibly dependent fiancée, a daughter, and a step-daughter that depend on me. I can't even get custody of the two girls because I can't even catch up with my finances enough to consult with an attorney. If get a free attorney, it'll be immediately apparent that I have no money and I'll lose anyway. So I have take care of bullshit business on the weekdays and take care of the girls on the weekends. I get no time to myself to spend thinking, planning, cleaning.
Fuck, I hate my life.