The Vent Thread

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Kimberly
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Re: The Vent Thread

Post by Kimberly » Sat Sep 07, 2013 9:44 pm

I am so angry that I'm literally trying to breathe normally, and I'm trying too fucking hard to refrain myself from doing something stupid. I can't calm down and I'm crying just trying to. I'm just so goddamn pissed off, at myself too, for trusting that this person wouldn't do something, even though they've done it over and over again. They can't even keep their word that they wouldn't, but it's not as if I believed it when they said it anyway :/
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Kimberly
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Re: The Vent Thread

Post by Kimberly » Tue Sep 10, 2013 1:04 am

Kimberly wrote:I am so angry that I'm literally trying to breathe normally, and I'm trying too fucking hard to refrain myself from doing something stupid. I can't calm down and I'm crying just trying to. I'm just so goddamn pissed off, at myself too, for trusting that this person wouldn't do something, even though they've done it over and over again. They can't even keep their word that they wouldn't, but it's not as if I believed it when they said it anyway :/
Welp, same crap happens again. Same shit every single time. It's like, don't tell me you're going to do something and get offended when I say that you will, and then end up doing it anyway. I'm just so tired of it. I'm tired of that person being defended, as if what they're doing isn't wrong, as if I should understand, as if it's not a big deal. My feelings, my situation, none of it is being considered. Not one bit. What do I have to do to have someone at least try to understand how I feel? At this point, I'm about ready to give up. I hate this place so much. I hate being here.
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dj_ultima_the_great
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Re: The Vent Thread

Post by dj_ultima_the_great » Tue Sep 10, 2013 2:33 am

Ugh, really annoyed at shoe shopping. I have a problem where my feet are constantly swollen, both in terms of width and thickness. It's the latter part that is causing me migraines. It's been four years since I got this way, and I haven't been able to wear a dress shoe since that time. I finally found out that my problem can be solved with "extra depth" shoes - typically used by diabetics and sometimes pregnant women - but they literally do not make cute versions of these, and even the barely passable ones are nearly fifty dollars at the cheapest. Most of them are one hundred or more.

I'm fretting over this because for the first time since I was maybe ten years old, I'm going to have a casual dress. Not something for special occasions, not something that looks like a prom gown, but just a regular, adorable dress that I can wear with tights and Mary Janes and pigtails and so help me Lucifer I will look absolutely precious if it kills me.

Assuming I can EVER find shoes that actually fit me, that is. :roll:

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AngelDragoon
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Re: The Vent Thread

Post by AngelDragoon » Tue Sep 10, 2013 3:53 am

dj_ultima_the_great wrote:Ugh, really annoyed at shoe shopping. I have a problem where my feet are constantly swollen, both in terms of width and thickness. It's the latter part that is causing me migraines. It's been four years since I got this way, and I haven't been able to wear a dress shoe since that time. I finally found out that my problem can be solved with "extra depth" shoes - typically used by diabetics and sometimes pregnant women - but they literally do not make cute versions of these, and even the barely passable ones are nearly fifty dollars at the cheapest. Most of them are one hundred or more.

I'm fretting over this because for the first time since I was maybe ten years old, I'm going to have a casual dress. Not something for special occasions, not something that looks like a prom gown, but just a regular, adorable dress that I can wear with tights and Mary Janes and pigtails and so help me Lucifer I will look absolutely precious if it kills me.

Assuming I can EVER find shoes that actually fit me, that is. :roll:
If I may offer a shoe suggestion: http://www.alegriashoes.com/

While they are somewhat pricey, I guarantee they're worth every penny. I was diagnosed with pretty bad sciatica recently and I have shin splints from basketball; for a while I could barely walk ten minutes without having some serious pain going on, (mind you, I'm only 24 >_> ). I finally went to my local shoe store and they had these, and I have subsequently bought three pairs of various styles because it's the only thing I can basically wear. XD They do sometimes go on sale, though you might also be able to find a slightly used pair on ebay. The only issue I've had is that the vinyl boots can get hot rather quickly, and the leather ones, (which is basically all of their products), you have to condition with some petroleum jelly or leather conditioner, but other than that I haven't had any issues and they're as good as the day I bought them. <3

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dj_ultima_the_great
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Re: The Vent Thread

Post by dj_ultima_the_great » Wed Sep 11, 2013 3:35 am

Left for work this morning and found an eviction notice on the apartment door.

Is it bad that I'm getting used to this?

So there goes about six hundred dollars if I want to keep a place to live. In other thoughts...
AngelDragoon wrote:If I may offer a shoe suggestion: http://www.alegriashoes.com/
Thanks! So I gave that site a quick rundown, and I am finding a lot of cute stuff that I like. Kind of out of my price range (the eBay listings were a little more promising, like you said), but if I can get something I won't destroy within a couple of months, that'd be awesome.

My only worry is that I don't really see anyone talking about swollen feet, and specifically the depth of the shoe. I tried buying fairly expensive shoes once that were meant for nurses and claimed to be roomy and stretchy, and even though I bought a size up from my normal, it was like trying to stuff a grapefruit into a wine bottle. Just no freakin' way were my feet fitting into them. It's been a series of discouraging purchases and return shippings since then.

Of course, given the top of this post, I think new shoes just got docked to pretty low priority. Damn it. :down:

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Jadecavy
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Re: The Vent Thread

Post by Jadecavy » Wed Sep 11, 2013 10:36 am


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Miaka999
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Re: The Vent Thread

Post by Miaka999 » Wed Sep 11, 2013 10:03 pm

wish i could help but i am a metal type of girl

ugh...so i feel like i am being pulled by so many strings. Just when I was wishing for work since I am unemployed, my wishes were answered. I received five emails and 5 voice messages from five distinct jobs (four at public schools and one as a research assistant at a hospital). At the public schools, I will be working as a teacher assistant and will be working with special needs children (nine children all 3 years of age). As a teacher assistant I will get experience for my master's which is speech pathology. Some of these children have speech problems, so it will be a great experience for me. The other 3 jobs are as an after school teacher and its part time yet still good pay. And last is the research position. I feel like i am in a conflict with myself because obviously I would not be a human being to accept all five (cannot be in five places all at the same time). I have met all the children i will be working with and they are all an adoration. It will be tough because these little boys are all so fragile due to their condition. One little boy even ran to me the first day. He eats through a feeding tube because he has some disorder in which he cannot grow teeth. He didn't want to leave my side. I really need to clear my head and pronto....God help me!!!

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dj_ultima_the_great
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Re: The Vent Thread

Post by dj_ultima_the_great » Thu Sep 12, 2013 12:14 am

Five fucking shoe stores and not a single pair that even fits. Forget cute or nice or pretty, they literally do not make anything in my size! This goes beyond petty fashion; what's going to happen when my casual shoes wear out? I'm never going to be able to find anything to replace them! I'm just so angry right now. Every time I try to do something good for myself, even something as small as buying a cute, cheap dress, it gets twisted and fucked up. This is supposed to be cheering me up from all of the big things that are making my life hell, and even the little things are managing to go wrong.

Speaking of the big things, though, the eviction notice was a false alarm. Mom did send the payment, but late, so they pinned that up on our door even though the bill had been taken care of, but not yet processed.

However, with these recent events, it only solidifies in my mind that it's time to part ways with Mom. She's at a point where covering her part of the bills is becoming too difficult - and if I'm going to have to start covering the rent, then I may as well be doing it for someone with whom I actually want to live. The simplest solution is to move Mom out and move my best friend in. There's really no point in me looking for an apartment with my bestie when I'm already in a perfectly-suited place and Mom would have had to find a single bedroom location after I moved out anyway. May as well just trade out one roommate for another.

The idea is that we will put Mom into a place where you basically rent out your own room and share a common kitchen and bathroom with others, sort of dormitory-style. My co-worker - who is a correctional worker at his primary job and well-versed with living situations like this - is going to get back to me with details. According to him, the rent would be more like 200 to 300 dollars per month, instead of the nearly 600 that we are paying here. She can afford that, but she won't have to.

Although I was originally against the idea, I decided that I will be keeping her car when she moves out*, but not without compensation. At my co-worker's suggestion, I will pay for it by means of covering her rent for the first six months, which is roughly equal to the value of her car if she traded it in. I think that's fair and by actually applying the money toward a specific bill myself, I know that she will not be wasting it on something irrelevant. That way, she can save up what she is getting from unemployment until it runs out and either use it for a few extra months' rent, or... I don't know.

*Incidentally, she pitched a fit about the washer/dryer staying with me as well, to which I reasonably replied that yes, they are hers, and she is more than welcome to take them when she is financially stable. Nobody is moving those 500 lb monsters until we know they're staying put.

Maybe this is what she needs. Maybe if I force her out into a strange place with strange people, she will forge new connections and get her act together. Clearly I'm not able to help (or more accurately, "improve") her at this point. I'm just a security blanket that continues to take care of her long after I should have left well enough alone. Anyway, she took my lecture with acceptance and understanding, surprisingly for her, but we will see how long this good will lasts as I actually start trying to pack up her life and pull the blanket off.

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Miaka999
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Re: The Vent Thread

Post by Miaka999 » Thu Sep 12, 2013 9:58 pm

I don't know what to do. I have to make a decision that will impact my future. I have to make a decision fast because the children are already getting used to me. I have been doing some volunteer work with them and they are getting used to me being there. There is one little boy who just does not leave my side. I like the teacher who I work for but she is a scatter brained individual who forgets things consistently. There are some children who try my patience and I do have zero tolerance for bad behavior. This little boy named Marcus was climbing off of shelves and tables and desks like a monkey. He loves attention and craves it all the time. I have done positive reinforcement with stickers and its not helping as much. Here goes another tomorrow with them. Please let it be a good day!!!

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Ambiati
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Re: The Vent Thread

Post by Ambiati » Sun Sep 15, 2013 12:38 pm

I just really hate the fact that I don't have the courage to say "Hi" to people. It takes every ounce of courage I do have to even say something. I'm just low on self-esteem and I feel like if I do say something or try to talk to them, I'll say something that will either embarrass me or the person would bite me or something.
And it really makes me want to cry.

Other than this, I've met some jerks on this forum. :(

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