Five fucking shoe stores and not a single pair that even fits. Forget cute or nice or pretty, they literally do not make anything in my size! This goes beyond petty fashion; what's going to happen when my casual shoes wear out? I'm never going to be able to find anything to replace them! I'm just so angry right now. Every time I try to do something good for myself, even something as small as buying a cute, cheap dress, it gets twisted and fucked up. This is supposed to be cheering me up from all of the big things that are making my life hell, and even the little things are managing to go wrong.
Speaking of the big things, though, the eviction notice was a false alarm. Mom did send the payment, but late, so they pinned that up on our door even though the bill had been taken care of, but not yet processed.
However, with these recent events, it only solidifies in my mind that it's time to part ways with Mom. She's at a point where covering her part of the bills is becoming too difficult - and if I'm going to have to start covering the rent, then I may as well be doing it for someone with whom I actually want to live. The simplest solution is to move Mom out and move my best friend in. There's really no point in me looking for an apartment with my bestie when I'm already in a perfectly-suited place and Mom would have had to find a single bedroom location after I moved out anyway. May as well just trade out one roommate for another.
The idea is that we will put Mom into a place where you basically rent out your own room and share a common kitchen and bathroom with others, sort of dormitory-style. My co-worker - who is a correctional worker at his primary job and well-versed with living situations like this - is going to get back to me with details. According to him, the rent would be more like 200 to 300 dollars per month, instead of the nearly 600 that we are paying here. She can afford that, but she won't have to.
Although I was originally against the idea, I decided that I will be keeping her car when she moves out*, but not without compensation. At my co-worker's suggestion, I will pay for it by means of covering her rent for the first six months, which is roughly equal to the value of her car if she traded it in. I think that's fair and by actually applying the money toward a specific bill myself, I know that she will not be wasting it on something irrelevant. That way, she can save up what she is getting from unemployment until it runs out and either use it for a few extra months' rent, or... I don't know.
*Incidentally, she pitched a fit about the washer/dryer staying with me as well, to which I reasonably replied that yes, they are hers, and she is more than welcome to take them when she is financially stable. Nobody is moving those 500 lb monsters until we know they're staying put.
Maybe this is what she needs. Maybe if I force her out into a strange place with strange people, she will forge new connections and get her act together. Clearly I'm not able to help (or more accurately, "improve") her at this point. I'm just a security blanket that continues to take care of her long after I should have left well enough alone. Anyway, she took my lecture with acceptance and understanding, surprisingly for her, but we will see how long this good will lasts as I actually start trying to pack up her life and pull the blanket off.