The Vent Thread

Topics not related to Anime Music Videos
Post Reply
User avatar
Radical_Yue
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 8:45 pm
Status: The flamer with heart of gold~<3
Org Profile

Re: The Vent Thread

Post by Radical_Yue » Fri Apr 19, 2013 3:24 pm

Ileia wrote:Well scuse me for asking then.

Why you make me giggle? ;_; It huuuuurts.

User avatar
Kimberly
Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2004 5:39 pm
Contact:
Org Profile

Re: The Vent Thread

Post by Kimberly » Sat Apr 20, 2013 3:23 am

Shitty day.
ImageImage

User avatar
pan_dbgt01
Joined: Thu May 24, 2001 9:19 pm
Status: Hanging around. Trying to find time to edit.
Location: Canada
Org Profile

Re: The Vent Thread

Post by pan_dbgt01 » Sat Apr 20, 2013 11:29 pm

slimed wrote:
slimed wrote:extended from this....
slimed wrote:
Spoiler :
to be honest i don't know why i'm venting here or anywhere really. but to start there's this guy that started talking to me last semester and we kinda lost contact over break, we started talking again recently this semester. at one point he didn't respond to my text for a few days and i was overthinking and being stupid and i somehow came to the conclusion that he was ignoring me (it wasn't just a random text but a kinda personal question and it didn't feel like overreacting at the time) - so i just didn't even text him again and idk why i even came to think that because he's the one that first started messaging me to begin with and i felt kinda stupid when he texted me so nonchalantly a few days later.

i feel like i have to physically restrain myself from seeming emotionally invested and i'm not sure if i'm the only person like that, which makes me wonder if having little friends and any kind of relationships throughout high school etc is the cause of that. i've never honestly been in or interested in relationships. but now i'm tired of being lonely tbh lmao and i think i've started to go into most "hookup" situations with a mindset of "friends with benefits are nice but if it transitioned into a relationship that would be cool"-- and i've never met a guy on these terms that i could actually see myself in a relationship with until now.

so anyway, he texted me last night asking to get together which i was hesitant to do because he intimidates me a little, he's an extroverted party guy and he's a rec major and played football baseball wrestling in hs which is so different from me. he's also bisexual which normally would be all fine and whatever but he recently got out of an 8 year relationship with a girl and they just had started talking again and he was talking about how he was considering getting back together because i guess they still hook up idk.

he picked me up and we went to his place, talked a lot, hooked up (which was fun and i'd like to do it regularly but idk i'm not as sexually attracted to him as i am physically if that makes sense, which is completely fine with me, i would rather be just friends than just w/ benefits if i had to choose one over the other), and we just laid around and talked more after. later i kept thinking of things i could or should have said and i wish i was outgoing and talkative as him but i take time to open up, he just doesn't care about being 'goofy', says what he thinks, and is secure with who he is and it's really sweet and comforting in this case. he's also funny and nonjudgmental and that's sort of what i expected but it was hard to expect in person it to that extent, it's seriously hard to explain. we talked about past stories and just random insignificant things but he was so easy to talk to and i really want to be friends with him which isn't something i normally think about people. he talked about his sexuality and mentioned that he "isn't sure, but" he doesn't see himself being in a relationship with a guy, but is open-minded to things. and frankly based on conversation he's so much more open-minded about just anything than i think i could ever be.

i don't really know where i'm going with this but i like having things written out. i guess this is the first time i've clicked with a guy like this and i really do like him, i hope things pan out as nicely as i hope for.
..
Spoiler :
(maybe a tiny bit nsfw but idk probably not)

the same guy. in reality not much has happened since then but in my mind a lot has, and i like him so much more than i did before even.

we met up once a couple days ago. he said he was crying over being alone earlier that day (he was in a long relationship with a girl and he finally cut off their relationship all together) a few hours before texting me and asked to hangout. i came over and he was sitting in a lawn chair outside in his front yard around a fire by himself and there was a party earlier that night at his house and this was kind of late like 1am. and we sat and talked about a lot of different things and i felt like i got to know him a lot more and i love hearing about even the small insignificant things of his life. the negative is that i still couldn't open up, just like last time. i don't know why, if he never gets to know "me" then how could i ever expect him to like me let alone think anything greater of me or want to hang out more often. i think i might have him built so much emotionally in my head when in reality we've only met twice that me being quiet is out of plain nervousness. i wish i could describe how great he is in words. he's such a genuinely nice guy and he's so friendly. he kept trying to make me laugh and open me up and it would mostly be him talking and me adding words other than once in a while and i felt so annoyingly shy and i just didn't know what to say and i felt so different from myself. my friends at least find me funny and i really wish i could show him that side of me. he mentioned that there's a girl (not his long-term ex) that i think he said he's in love with in north carolina and that he plans to move there after graduating ("not to be with her"). he mentioned how he feels about guys again and i'm not sure if he's specifically hinting that he's not interested in guys emotionally or hinting that he potentially is - he was kind of, not "dodgy" but subtle when talking about his feelings. and when i think back on it it reminds me that i never explained about how i view relationships and my relationship status and it makes me wonder if he was curious of that. i keep thinking of things i should of said and i want to rewind to that moment.

later on we ended up in his bed and we had sex for a few hours, and yeah it was really great. being with him feels so comforting and "right". we were a lot more open (in bed at least) than the first time and there wasn't any awkwardness and it was a really fun time. later he drove me back to my dorm. in the back of my head i really wish and i wished the first time too that he would ask me to sleep over in his bed. falling asleep in his arms would be literally perfect and that's all i want.

i wanted to vent because it's 5;30am and he's stuck in my head. i'm too tired to coherently connect and transition all of my thoughts into each other and my mind isn't very coherent right now. i hope he invites me to his next party and even more so i hope i can actually be myself at that party which is what i'm scared of. i don't want to just be so introverted to the point where he gives up on me. i hate that he's graduating next may and ill be stuck here alone, miles away, and the thought of never seeing him again will honestly be a lot to handle. i just want something to happen before that, i don't want my feelings to go unknown. i probably sound stupid to anyone reading this that has been in a casual hookup situation before, and i know how this looks. maybe i am clingy and maybe i am overemotional, maybe past experiences have lead to this, but that doesn't change how i feel. i don't know if i'm emotionally ready or prepared for a "friend with benefits" and maybe these hookups under these terms are self destructive. he mentioned that he can't personally do casual hookups with girls as much anymore because he compares them to previous girlfriends and gets emotional and that it's easier with guys because he's never been with one before and has nothing to compare it to, and knowing he's been in my position or a similar position makes me feel a little better and justified over the fact that i have feelings for him in the first place. there's so much going on in my head right now and this is really only the tip of the iceberg.

irrelevantly, i have a different situation to vent about when it comes to a different guy i've been hooking up with. he's a great guy and i like him a lot, but i know i couldn't be in a relationship with him. i told him about the guy this entire post is about and that we hooked up (i didn't straightforward tell him, he asked and claimed to want to know for "safety" reasons on his part and there's a long story behind it that is too long to get into), he knew the guy, and said that he's a "truly great guy" and that i deserve someone like him and that i would be better off with him and a lot of really unexpected shots that i didn't ever expect him to say because i viewed our relationship as just a hookup thing and i thought that was what he wanted. and he just said that he didn't want to have me over "for a long while" after basically telling me he wanted a relationship with me and i do completely get how he felt and i feel so horrible for basically putting him in the same position i am but i don't know what i can do about it.
Spoiler :
i really need to vent and i'm just stressed with a lot on my mind and i'm so down right now, especially over this hookup buddy thing.

these are just going to be more disconnected thoughts. i haven't seen him since the last vent. we planned to hang out a time or two but it hasn't worked out. i don't know anymore whether he really wants to hang out, he works a lot, but he hasn't invited me to a party or anything lately which is depressing because i haven't gotten the chance to hang out with him in a friend/friend environment which is what i would prefer over just sex. i really wanna be friends with him and be there to hang out and watch movies and be in his group of friends and whatever. i don't know if he wants that but i think he's too sweet to oppose it. what i REALLY don't know how to do is transition from hookups to a friendship. the semester is ending soon and i'm going to be away for the summer and i probably won't see him at all - i know there's a chance he'll end up in a relationship over that break or maybe just grow past the hookup thing. it would be nice if i could get over him over the break but in all honesty i don't think i could ever stop liking him in the way that i do. the school year ending probably isn't the worst part, the worst part is that next year is his last year and i know it's going to fly by and i'll realistically probably never see him after.

now it's the weekend and i'm home away from campus and i don't have the opportunity to hang out. next week i wanna see him and ask where he stands when it comes to relationships but ask in the most casual and nonchalant way ever. because we really don't know each other that well and we haven't hung out a lot and i don't want to come off as clingy or weird even though i might be. whether he is or isn't wanting a relationship (with a guy), knowing where he stands will at least give me some kind of closure i think whether it ultimately turns out the way i want or not. i just hope i can say what i need to say and ask what i need to ask when i'm actually with him, otherwise i don't think i'll ever move out of the position i'm in. what i refuse to say on the other hand is that i like him because that would definitely scare him off lmao. i wish i wasn't shy or quiet then i wouldn't have to worry about him knowing me or not or liking me for me - instead of now where he doesn't really know me to have the chance to like me which is the single worst position to ever be in - , and i wouldn't have to worry about asking questions and i just wish i could be confident and myself with him.

i never thought i could ever be ready for a relationship. i have a low self esteem and i'm regularly sad and i never thought i would ever have the will to commit myself to another person when i'm not even content with myself. i feel like i would be really happy with him and that my insecurities and my own problems would be overshadowed and i literally have no doubt that i would be a better and more confident person with him there. almost like if a person like that could like me, someone that is so perfect in my eyes, that i'd have no reason to be insecure about anything and i could just be happy with him.

whenever i read over these vents i want to punch myself in the face because of how dramatic i make it seem
Do what's right for you. It's always best to stay calm and go with the flow. Always remember to listen to your instincts and do what you deem comfortable. It's difficult to stay cool sometimes, especially if you really like the guy. It's better to have an, "I don't care," mindset so you don't disappoint yourself. Go with the flow ;)

User avatar
pacotacoshell
Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2011 11:15 am
Org Profile

Re: The Vent Thread

Post by pacotacoshell » Sun Apr 21, 2013 6:04 am

Just finished reading only Catelyn's chapters in A Storm of Swords.

This series sucks. IS THERE NO JUSTICE? :nose: GOD. I have never been so sad over a book as I am right now.
Image

User avatar
aesling
Mad Scientist
Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2005 10:55 pm
Status: Human McNugget
Location: Wall Rose
Org Profile

Re: The Vent Thread

Post by aesling » Sun Apr 21, 2013 10:35 am

No wonder you're sad, Catelyn sucks. :ying:
:ying:

User avatar
Castor Troy
Ryan Molina, A.C.E
Joined: Tue Jan 16, 2001 8:45 pm
Status: Retired from AMVs
Location: California
Contact:
Org Profile

Re: The Vent Thread

Post by Castor Troy » Sun Apr 21, 2013 11:28 am

Glasses broke the the other day and I'm keeping them together with tape. I won't be able to get replacement frames until Monday since my glasses place is closed on Sundays.

I probably should have gotten a new pair after 4 years..
"You're ignoring everything, except what you want to hear.." - jbone

User avatar
BasharOfTheAges
Just zis guy, you know?
Joined: Tue Sep 14, 2004 11:32 pm
Status: Breathing
Location: Merrimack, NH
Org Profile

Re: The Vent Thread

Post by BasharOfTheAges » Sun Apr 21, 2013 11:41 am

Castor Troy wrote:Glasses broke the the other day and I'm keeping them together with tape. I won't be able to get replacement frames until Monday since my glasses place is closed on Sundays.

I probably should have gotten a new pair after 4 years..
Most places will insist you get a new prescription too, so be ready for that.
Anime Boston Fan Creations Coordinator (2019-2023)
Anime Boston Fan Creations Staff (2016-2018)
Another Anime Convention AMV Contest Coordinator 2008-2016
| | |

User avatar
aesling
Mad Scientist
Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2005 10:55 pm
Status: Human McNugget
Location: Wall Rose
Org Profile

Re: The Vent Thread

Post by aesling » Sun Apr 21, 2013 1:22 pm

My uncle had a stroke this morning. He's stable now, but they don't know what caused it, and he's only in his 50's, so this isn't usual. My poor aunt is a mess, and I want to help, but I have no idea how to act in this situation.
:ying:

User avatar
JaddziaDax
Crazy Cat Lady!
Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2004 6:25 am
Status: I has a TRU Arceus
Location: somewhere i think O.o
Contact:
Org Profile

Re: The Vent Thread

Post by JaddziaDax » Sun Apr 21, 2013 3:23 pm

give hugs, lots of hugs

User avatar
Castor Troy
Ryan Molina, A.C.E
Joined: Tue Jan 16, 2001 8:45 pm
Status: Retired from AMVs
Location: California
Contact:
Org Profile

Re: The Vent Thread

Post by Castor Troy » Sun Apr 21, 2013 4:33 pm

BasharOfTheAges wrote:
Castor Troy wrote:Glasses broke the the other day and I'm keeping them together with tape. I won't be able to get replacement frames until Monday since my glasses place is closed on Sundays.

I probably should have gotten a new pair after 4 years..
Most places will insist you get a new prescription too, so be ready for that.
Yeah, not looking forward to paying 2x what the glasses are worth. :x
"You're ignoring everything, except what you want to hear.." - jbone

Post Reply

Return to “General Discussion”