Here's my general consensus.
1) Why's the song sped up? It sounds more like a chipmunk version of the song.
2) In general, the scene selection is just a few scenes from the first episode. More variety in scenery can go a long ways. Especially considering that the scenes don't have much to do with the song in the first place. It's a romance song, correct? There's not much here in terms of romance. It feels more like just footage slapped on top of the song.
3) The encoding watermarks in the first 15 seconds could be cropped out to a better visual effect. Just makes it look nicer.
4) At :27, it seems like you're trying to lip sync Haurhi, but it's not quite hitting it, and the lip movement isn't matching the words trying to be sung.
5) The video ends abruptly and is fairly short.
6) There's not much sync. Meaning that the cuts/movement of the scenes aren't in sync with the music, or the lyrics matching the scenes on screen.
Allow me to point you to a few helpful guides, and perhaps a good example of an AMV with this song. Not that we expect clones of every video made in the past, but it's a good example of explaining what I mean by various scenes and sync.Helpful Guide for Beginner AMVersHow to be a Good AMV EditorNina by Kyssifur [Using the same song]
Also, you can check out #AMV-Review
, which usually has someone in there that can help you out with beta testing or a more critical explanation of your AMV. It's also getting a lot more involved now that Kionon is pushing for more feedback around here. And of course, you can always pm the people in this subforum, they're all usually willing to help out with beta testing or just reviewing AMVs more in depth (myself included).
I hope this helps, and congrats on your first AMV! I certainly hope you stick around.