I did not understand this video at all. I couldn't follow what was going on in the video due to random scenes following each other without any kind of connection.
It is important to decide before editing what you want to portray. Think of a concept, an idea...just something that makes your scenes connect. I couldn't care less for some sort of slideshow of scenes slapped on a timeline to music with no sense whatsoever.
Your video doesn't need the biggest creativity (though it's something I encourage) and most stunning concept, but one of the most important things of editing is that your video makes sense.
Next thing to follow is the scene selection in context with the sound of music and the way you transition them. For example: Pumping fighting scenes on the louder parts of the song and scenes connection your concept in the lower parts, etc.
I do not want a still dragging on scene of characters when the song yells at me, as much as I do not want crazy fast scenes when the song is meaning to calm me down.
That aside, the second most important thing would be the actual timing of scenes. Try to follow the flow of the song, hit the beats! Wether you go for external sync with scene changes and effects or internal sync. Some ideas for the latter are for example hits or kicks or explosions that go with drum beats, or for example fast movements in different directions suiting the movement of a guitar riff.
And at last of course....remove the subtitles ~_~
Good Luck on your next try!