Funny Convos

[Niotex]

Said the man on the high horse

You should come down from there and play with the rest of us monkeys ;3

[NME]

Are you just gonna emotionally project (aka fling shit) like the monkey you are for as long as you encounter things you don't like?

Grow up M-dawg. You're nearly 30.

[ZephyrStar]

Growing up is for people who have died inside.

[CodeZTM]

Some hilarity in the office!

Me: What did you guys do with the [Insert Client Name Here] File? [I was needing to do their payroll, and the file had mysteriously dissipated.]
Employee1: It's in the drawer
Employee2: It's in the boss's office.
Boss: It's in the toliet.
[/goes to look, and sure enough, the file was in the bathroom]
Me: ....
Boss: Don't look at me! I needed reading material, and it was on my desk!!

____________________

Secretary: Zackary, did you fill out your time card?
Me: Yes I did!
Secretary: Did you call the IRS on the [client] case?
Me: Yes.
Secretary: Did you scan all of [client]'s W2s in the OCR system?
Me: Yes.
Secretary: Did you get the 1099 system working again?
Me: Yes.
Secertary: Did you get that pesky man in Egypt to give out a little democracy?
Me: Ye----... What?!?!?!
Secretary: -laughter-

_____________________

A Man Walks into our office

Him: I need to file some taxes!
Me: Great! Do you itemize?
Him: What's that mean?
Me: Uh... Do you have things like medical expenses, unreimbursed expenses from businesses or charitable contributions?
Him: I got a gigantic pussy warty thing removed on my ass, would that count?
Me: Was it medically needed? [Completely ignoring the fact that he just talked about the wart on his butt].
Him: It hurt when I sat down at work, and my doctor recommended that I remove it if I wanted to keep working.
Me: Oh, then that would count!
Him: Great!
-5 minutes later after the client leaves-
Employee2: DID YOU JUST TALK ABOUT A GUYS WARTY ASS FOR TAX PURPOSES?
Me: And people say accountants live boring lives!

_____________________

Boss: Zack, I need some tax research done on cow poop.
Me: ........
Boss: A farmer needs to know if he can deduct the costs of a clearing, and I have never worked with that before.
Me: Doesn't it have to be ordinary, reasonable and necessary?
Boss: What's ordinary about that?
Me: True... /goes to tax research software

___________________

It is never dull in public accounting.

[LittleAtari]

Dude, do you record every skype call you're in?

That's kinda creepy.

You're friends with joey. It's all about recording them skype calls.

[dreamawake]

lolwat? Since when do I record skype calls that aren't podcasts?

[Enigma]

probably too high to remember recording it all

[Niotex]

You're nearly 30.

You sir are a funny man

Out of touch with reality much?

[NME]

M-dawg, baby, the only people out of touch with reality ITT are you and your puppy.

[Otohiko]

A thread about funny conversations (and thus recorded, on whatever media). Mitch posts conversation (which is, inevitably, recorded). NME complains that Mitch posts a (recorded) conversation that was indeed amusing. Or rather accuses Mitch of being creepy, while constantly following every discussion and replying with an incessant stream of negativity.

...what?