Relationships and being your own person

Shazzy · Post by **Shazzy** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 12:11 pm

I'm having a conflict of interest with my current quasiboyfriend. I'm a decently social person, but I like to have time to myself to work on movie projects, write stories, play piano--basically just mess around and do stuff alone. Right now I'm taking 15 credit hours and working 20 hrs/wk, so my free time is pretty limited. Problem is that the boyfriend wants to hang out EVERY night after school/work. How do I explain that I need alone time? I tried telling him I'm an introvert, but he just thinks I'm annoyed by him or I'm seeing someone else. So yeah, how do I get an extrovert to understand I'm going to go INSANE if I see him all the time?

JaddziaDax · Post by **JaddziaDax** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 1:06 pm

just tell him flat out.

Org Profile · Post by **Otohiko** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 2:44 pm

Well yes, if the guy's not stupid and at all worth having a relationship with, he'll be able to get the literal meaning of it without reading some sort of rejection into it.

But haha, perfect illustration of why I can't get a girlfriend or even the sort of friends I want, at least in the English/North American society. My [implicitly-expressed] expectations of commitment and time scare people off

downwithpants · Post by **downwithpants** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:59 pm

put out. he wont care about anything else. (no offense intended to you or him.)

mexicanjunior · Post by **mexicanjunior** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 6:00 pm

downwithpants wrote:put out. he wont care about anything else. (no offense intended to you or him.)

x2

CodeZTM · Post by **CodeZTM** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 6:10 pm

Just let him know flat out. Otherwise, he'll be confused, and no man wants that.

aesling · Post by **aesling** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 7:19 pm

From personal experience, just explain it to him clearly. Set boundaries and make sure he knows what they are. If he can't give you space, then he's probably not worth it, and it's just not going to work out anyway. If he's driving you crazy then you can't really have a healthy relationship.

Shit, I sound like Dear Abby

SarahtheBoring · Post by **SarahtheBoring** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 8:27 pm

Shazzy wrote:but he just thinks I'm annoyed by him or I'm seeing someone else.

This part makes me worry.

Irrational jealousy is not good. Doesn't he trust you? That's not fair.

I had something like this a while back. I had to beg for one hour a week alone-time, and even then it took a bunch of (true) reasons until he finally accepted one. I was miserable, and for no good reason. Because he thought a girl should literally hang on his every word all the time. Ego-tripping, basically. Stupid. Stuuuupid.
/tl;dr

xn+1 on the "there's better out there who aren't creepily controlling" sentiment.

dokool · Post by **dokool** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 8:57 pm

I agree with StB, dump his ass.

guy07 · Post by **guy07** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 9:05 pm

I'm in no position to say anything >_<

^Is terrible with relationships and stuff

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Relationships and being your own person

Relationships and being your own person

Re: Relationships and being your own person