Sometimes, before I go to sleep, I wonder if I'll wake up to some other life all together. Sometimes, after I wake up from dreaming, where while I was dreaming, and I know that I was dreaming while I was dreaming, I wonder if I haven't woken up to a dream that I have fallen asleep to from the time that I was dreaming. You know, like when you wake up, in your dream, only to realize that you're not awake yet?
One of these times, I might not get out of my dream, and that'll be the end of it. This whole world will have meant nothing at all. Everything that happens in your dreams is entirely contained within your mind. Therefore, if I were to never wake up, then this entire world would have been in my head. There's a term for this, "Solipsism," which confirms one of my other fears. If other people are thinking the same thing, then maybe we're all in someone else's dream that they are going to wake up. We may all be in someone else's head.
When I'm not worried about all that dream stuff, I think that the world is a wonderful place. I'm okay with all of the life and death and everything in between. There are patterns and repetitions as far in and as far out as you can look. Biologically, cells grow, reproduce, and then die. Stars do the same thing. There are massive voids of space in cells where electrons circle around protons and neutrons. There are planets and asteroids that circle around stars. There are stars that circle around stars to form galaxies. And from so far away, looking at the night sky, stars look like little specks. From up high, several stories high, people look like little specks too.
Some people believe that there's a mathematical way to calculate God and the Universe. The entire universe could be some erratic and infinite number. It could be. I don't know. There are a ton of other theories that I've pondered, including organized religions, The Matrix, and The Truman Show. And from all of them, I have come to this understanding:
God is everything, and is in all things. All things are good, as they need to be, as they should be, and as they will be. It sucks sometimes. It's good most of the time. Everything is relative. It's all in your head.
I pray sometimes. I don't know what I pray to. But, I feel better after I do.