what p!sses you off about anime?

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Postby Hitori » Tue Jan 14, 2003 10:44 am

Very Bad Dubbing!
:evil:[/rant]
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Feh.

Postby Harper » Tue Jan 14, 2003 11:52 am

*saying here due to lack of link to project's forum* A Jet Grind Radio project... without Aisle 10? THE HORROR!

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Back on topic >ahem<

Postby Harper » Tue Jan 14, 2003 12:04 pm

I guess the only thing about Anime that really pisses me off is the repetition. Not in general; let me give you a few examples:

Rurouni Kenshin/Samurai X teh Movie (That goddamn scene where Kenshin cuts down the gang leader's brother... I think they showed that one close to like, 12 times)

Inu Yasha (The incredibly stupid scene detailing how Naraku came to be born from a dying man with dirty thoughts towards a MIKO and was eaten alive by spirits... ho-hummage.)


I'm sure you can think of dozens of such examples. And then there's Evangelion. So many things piss me off about that that there's a small list I could make, and will.

1. Shinji.
2. The five-minute animation pauses in the series with no speech (the elevator, Eva-01 holding the final angel, Shinji staring at Katsuragi after running away, any more of the half dozen scenes that this happens)
3. The MOVIES. Movie 1, part 01 reviews the entire series, and part 02 shows about half an hour of new footage. Movie 2, part 01 is an exact duplicate of Movie 1, Part 02, leading into yet another half an hour of original footage. So basically you coulda saved 25 bucks by only buying the End of Eva DVD. Thanks a ton, Gainax! -_-
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Postby the Black Monarch » Wed Jan 15, 2003 2:45 am

I hate Anime because the characters all look the fucking SAME except for hair, they all have unrealistically pointy noses and hugeass eyes that can be like five times taller than they are wide. Also, why does everything happen in fucking Japan? Especially Tokyo? I swear, sometimes they act like Tokyo is the only city in the world. Seriously, what is it about Tokyo that makes it so appealing to big monsters? Are the buildings there really easy to destroy or something?
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Postby MrScribble » Wed Jan 15, 2003 8:56 am

Hah, most of the things I find annoying about anime are in the Laws of Anime article, from Anime Cafe.

Copy/paste:

Law of Metaphysical Irregularity

The normal laws of physics do not apply.



Law of Differentiated Gravitation

Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.



Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics

In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.



Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion

In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.



Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion

The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.



Law of Temporal Variability

Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.



First Law of Temporal Mortality

'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.



Second Law of Temporal Mortality

It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.



Law of Dramatic Emphasis

Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).



Law of Dramatic Multiplicity

Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.



Law of Inherent Combustability

Everything explodes. Everything.

First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.

Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".



Law of Phlogistatic Emission

Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.



Law of Energetic Emission

There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.



Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude

The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.

First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.



Law of Inexhaustability

No one *EVER* runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.



Law of Inverse Accuracy

The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)

Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.

First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.

Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.

Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.



Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability

Minmei is a bimbo.



Law of Hemoglobin Capacity

The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.



Law of Demonic Consistency

Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.



Law of Militaristic Unreliability

Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.



Law of Tactical Unreliability

Tactical geniuses aren't....



Law of Inconsequential Undetectability

People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.



Law of Juvenile Intellectuality

Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.



Law of Americanthropomorphism

Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.

First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)

Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.



Law of Mandibular Proportionality

(from A. Hicks)

The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.



Law of Feline Mutation

(from A. Hicks)

Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:

be female,
will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation,
and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.


Law of Conservation of Firepower

(from U. Williams)

Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.



Law of Technological User-Benevolence

(from U. Williams)

The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.



Law of Melee Luminescence

(from U. Williams)

Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.



Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism

(from U. Williams)

All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.



Law of Follicular Chroma Variability

(from Spellweaver)

Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.



Law of Follicular Permanence

Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!



Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics

*ANY* shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.



Law of Probable Attire

Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.

Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).

Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.

First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.

Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.



Law of Musical Omnipotence

Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.



Law of Quitupular Aggultination

(from Daniel Mikula)

Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:


The Hero/Leader
His girlfriend
His Best Friend/Rival
A Hulking Brute
A Dwarf/Kid

Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:


Extreme Coolness
Amazing intelligence
Incredible Irritation



Law of Extradimensional Capacitance

(from Jason Bustard)

All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.

First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.



Law of Hydrostatic Emission

Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.



Law of Inverse Attraction

Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.

First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...



Law of Nasal Sanguination

(from Ryan Pritchard and Jason Aylen)

When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.



Law of Xylolaceration

(from Lyndon Harris)

Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.



Law of Juvenile Omnipotence

(from Erin Alia)

Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.



Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia

There is no Law #43.



Law of Nominative Clamovocation

(from Luiko-Ysabeth and Adrian Hsiah)

The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.



Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis

(from R. A. Hubby)

Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.


Law of Flimsy Incognition

(from Conrad Knauer)

Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.
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Postby OmniStrata » Wed Jan 15, 2003 10:47 am

Now this thread is getting stupid...

Most if not ALL the people in this thread are mentioning the majority of anime is hated. WTF? You don't want anime that has fanservice, Tenchi Syndrome, romantic plot-holes, action, mechs, etc...

Then that means you probably like only 1-3 FREAKIN' ANIME!

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN HERE!!!

damn, you say you're an anime watcher even though the only thing you can stomach is a plot that's so original nobody's even heard of it! geez...

What I HATE in anime? FUKED UP MIND BLOWING POINTLESS ENDINGS...
[how's that for original ^_^]

Best examples: Eva and Saishu Heiki Kanojo
Both endings gave me that "why waste my time with this bs" feeling...
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Postby FATTY_VM » Wed Jan 15, 2003 10:58 am

omni ... what you listed as what you hate has to knock a chuck of anime's out of the running too .. granted a combination of all of our hates put together is descriptions of most anime .. our indihvidual tastes leave us a wide variety ... and it just goes to show how much variety these shows have over a basic form of entertainment.
...the problem I see a lot is that many good amv makers think they suck, and many bad amv makers think they're good.
I've seen it happen, man! I've SEEN IT!..
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Postby Knowname » Wed Jan 15, 2003 6:42 pm

Kracus wrote:
Knowname wrote:and of coarse americanizing


yes cause americanization isn't at all a part of their culture. :roll:


no that's fine (like democracy and christian ideals to a point), I'm talking about not calling Mt. Fuji Mt. Fuji, or nori er whatever food they messed up in CCS (CC... whatever).
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Postby Knowname » Wed Jan 15, 2003 6:47 pm

klinky wrote:Multiple women getting hot and bothered for one guy. Also any show that fucking has mecha in it unless it's really good. Also any show where some boy or girl has a super power that is "The ultimate power". It's just so cliche, so pandering to idiots. Aren't the japs tired of fucking mechas, I sure as fuck am... :\

~klinky


Full Metal Panic??
MACROSS??!!

I love mechs... well it's not a huge plus in a series... but what's so bad about em?
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Re: Feh.

Postby Knowname » Wed Jan 15, 2003 6:49 pm

Harper wrote:*saying here due to lack of link to project's forum* A Jet Grind Radio project... without Aisle 10? THE HORROR!

-=Harper


Aisle 10 rocks ;-p but thas JSRF
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Postby Knowname » Wed Jan 15, 2003 6:59 pm

the Black Monarch wrote:I hate Anime because the characters all look the fucking SAME except for hair, they all have unrealistically pointy noses and hugeass eyes that can be like five times taller than they are wide. Also, why does everything happen in fucking Japan? Especially Tokyo? I swear, sometimes they act like Tokyo is the only city in the world. Seriously, what is it about Tokyo that makes it so appealing to big monsters? Are the buildings there really easy to destroy or something?


hehehehe :lol: :lol: :lol:

but Eva especially GAWDAM you'd think Japan is the only country in the world (with teeny exceptions in Germany and USA... very teeny...) They'd be like 'oh no! <Andy, Bebop (btw just saw CB27 from Kazaa and it ROCKS... just a recap but good commentary ;-p), type face> who can we call for help?? Japan?? no.... ... ... (long silence, gone over already)... Japan?? no... ... said that already... ... well I hope Japan gets better soon." hehehe
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Postby CaTaClYsM » Wed Jan 15, 2003 7:10 pm

unless I am mistaken bebop ep 5 or 6 took place in new york. you could clearly see the empire state building in the background.
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Postby Knowname » Wed Jan 15, 2003 7:18 pm

CaTaClYsM wrote:unless I am mistaken bebop ep 5 or 6 took place in new york. you could clearly see the empire state building in the background.


Eva= Evangelion (sorry bout the bebop spaming...)

Ep5= Jamming with Edward 6= Ballade of Fallen Angels (if I'm not mistaken).
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Postby Harper » Wed Jan 15, 2003 9:11 pm

the Black Monarch wrote:I hate Anime because the characters all look the fucking SAME except for hair, they all have unrealistically pointy noses and hugeass eyes that can be like five times taller than they are wide. Also, why does everything happen in fucking Japan? Especially Tokyo? I swear, sometimes they act like Tokyo is the only city in the world. Seriously, what is it about Tokyo that makes it so appealing to big monsters? Are the buildings there really easy to destroy or something?


Yet they're all white. Wtf.
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Postby the Black Monarch » Thu Jan 16, 2003 1:08 am

Then that means you probably like only 1-3 FREAKIN' ANIME!


Let's see... Eva, Inu Yasha, and Bebop. Damn, you're good!

Harper wrote:Yet they're all white. Wtf.


Yeah, I forgot that. It's one of the reasons why most anime have no possibility of being made into live-action movies. And to make matters even more complicated, there are people in episode 7 of Eva who actually look Japanese! WTF?

BTW, since the First Branch of NERV is located in Japan, and since Adam is located at the First Branch, and since all of the Angels are seeking to unite with Adam, Evangelion actually has a valid reason for taking place entirley in Japan. Except Episode 8, which actually took place smack in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and the carrier that they first landed on had an American crew (notice the one black guy in the background). Oh, and there were all those references to Germany and America, so all things considered, Eva doesn't seem to have the Matchstick Syndrome too bad.[/quote]
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