Well first off, to get it out of the way, your source material isn't high def. Check the footage you used and look at the aspect ration and the pixel ratio. If it's 1280 x 720 that's standard 720p HD, but I'm guessing yours isn't. There isn't much point in exporting your video at such a high resolution when the source material is that much lower, cause all it will do is stretch it.
Honestly, for a first attempt it was better than I thought it'd be. You showed restraint in effects and you understand synch and timing, which is a good start. As someone who isn't familiar with the anime, I could clearly tell you had a goal with your video and were trying to convey a certain story or message. That's an important aspect to have. You used fades where appropriate and not many hard cuts that stood out against the song.
Personally I don't like the faux subtitles. Maybe because I don't know who the characters are, but it was a tad garish. Pure voice would've been better imo and even if I said keep them in, the plain white was hard to read and didn't compliment the video.
I encourage you to keep at it and make more, maybe experiment with some effects and other ideas cause you understand many of the fundamentals, which is hard to teach to somebody. Considering it's a first attempt, I'd rate it an 8/10. If I were to disregard your experience and judge it by itself, more of a 7.
Check out my new video in my profile, I wouldn't mind some feedback either.
