Mom Jokes

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Beowulf
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Mom Jokes

Post by Beowulf » Tue May 11, 2010 8:17 am

Post all the lame jokes your parents tell you. I'll start with a favorite my mom has been throwing around since I was 5.

"Where did Napoleon hide his armies?"
....
"In his sleevies!"
:awesome:

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SQ
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Re: Mom Jokes

Post by SQ » Tue May 11, 2010 11:38 am

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Re: Mom Jokes

Post by Zarxrax » Tue May 11, 2010 3:12 pm

Beowulf wrote:"Where did Napoleon hide his armies?"
....
"In his sleevies!"
:awesome:
Well... I don't think I can beat that :|

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Re: Mom Jokes

Post by Kionon » Tue May 11, 2010 6:34 pm

Well, before he passed away, my dad used to, without fail say this:

"Daniel, would you watch my purse," my mom.

"Why, is it going to do tricks?" him.

I remember thinking it was completely hilarious at the time. Granted, I was also four.
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Re: Mom Jokes

Post by Prodigi » Tue May 11, 2010 10:09 pm

My parents told me this story:

My parents had just started dating. They'd been together for a few months. My mom decided to go to my dad's place and cook him something as a suprise for when he got back from work. She made scones. He ended up being quite late back so by the time he got home the scones had gone pretty cold and hard.

His first words when picking one of them up: "Christ, this thing could kill a dog at 10 paces".

And so began their dysfunctional relationship.

Does that count?

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Re: Mom Jokes

Post by surfsama » Wed May 12, 2010 7:00 pm

Prodigi wrote:My parents told me this story:

My parents had just started dating. They'd been together for a few months. My mom decided to go to my dad's place and cook him something as a suprise for when he got back from work. She made scones. He ended up being quite late back so by the time he got home the scones had gone pretty cold and hard.

His first words when picking one of them up: "Christ, this thing could kill a dog at 10 paces".

And so began their dysfunctional relationship.

Does that count?
Oh god, whether it counts or not I almost ruined a perfectly good monitor from the coffee spray...
Hide the Cheese Whiz

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Re: Mom Jokes

Post by Prodigi » Wed May 12, 2010 10:05 pm

surfsama wrote:
Prodigi wrote:My parents told me this story:

My parents had just started dating. They'd been together for a few months. My mom decided to go to my dad's place and cook him something as a suprise for when he got back from work. She made scones. He ended up being quite late back so by the time he got home the scones had gone pretty cold and hard.

His first words when picking one of them up: "Christ, this thing could kill a dog at 10 paces".

And so began their dysfunctional relationship.

Does that count?
Oh god, whether it counts or not I almost ruined a perfectly good monitor from the coffee spray...
There's also the stripper at the wedding reception, but that's a whole other story.

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Re: Mom Jokes

Post by RolltheStampede » Thu Jun 10, 2010 5:07 pm

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Re: Mom Jokes

Post by JaddziaDax » Fri Jun 11, 2010 12:17 pm

My dad once told me that Aspirin is the best kind of birth control

"tell her to stick it between her knees and keep it there"

I don't think that will work if someone is determined :/

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Re: Mom Jokes

Post by dreamawake » Fri Jun 11, 2010 5:58 pm

My dad never ceases to tell this joke every Halloween...

"Why couldn't the witch get pregnant?

'CAUSE HER HUSBAND HAD A HOLLOWEINER"

...It was sorta funny the first time.
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