the folks

This forum is for members to discuss topics that do not relate to anime music videos.

Postby Shazzy » Mon Jun 18, 2007 3:18 pm

I'm the oldest of...well, let's just say my family is definitely larger than the average American household of 2.57 individuals. Both my parents wanted a big family, yet my dad becomes selectively incompetent as soon as "cooking" or "laundry" is mentioned, so my mom ends up taking care of the house/kids. My dad's main familial task was orchestrating vacations: as a Florida family we did the Orlando route (Disney World, Universal, etc.) 2-3x a year, and we never failed to go on EVERY ride EVERY time.

Both are extremely smart (genius IQs, if you give that any credence) and expected no less than a perfect GPA and involvement in as many extracurricular activities as possible. Magically, they discovered how to encourage excellence without making me feel unduly pressured. Result: I have a great resentment-free work ethic.

Both think alike and I could never get one parent to say yes if the other already said no. If I got into a fight with one, the other parent would come in start echoing the first. Not fun :p

My parents are dyed-in-the-wool republican conservatives; registering democrat is the ultimate sacrilege.

My dad is hard to describe. He's a non-geeky intellectual who comes off as an outdoorsy sports person. He gave me a computer when I was three and signed me up for soccer when I was four. Ambrose Bierce summarizes his sense of humor. Battlestar Galactica is his TV show of choice. He listens to Enya and anything containing "tribal" in its title. My personality is very similar to my dad's and we get along great. His major failing is the aforementioned resistance to (gasp) cook, clean, and oversee small children.

My mom tries to do too much. She raises the kids, directs youth programs, runs a small business on top of her day job, involves herself in city politics, etc. She's always multitasking and it's simply exhausting to hold a conversation with her. She's addicted to organization and scheduling; spontaneous is not a word in her vocabulary. She's pretty controlling in general: we have a lot of fun differentiating "children" and "adult children who live independently." That said, she'll bend over backwards to help you accomplish pretty much anything. She'll cheer you up when you fail and cheer you on when you succeed.
AMV guides for Mac users
DOWNLOAD THIS AMV
Quarter-life crisis: a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you.
User avatar
Shazzy
 
Joined: 12 Jun 2004
Location: The Universe

Postby Bakadeshi » Mon Jun 18, 2007 3:21 pm

haha where to start.... :lol:

first off let me say I really like both my parents. Probably more of a moms boy, but both are cool.

But lets start with mom :O

My mom and dad met when she was pretty young, like 18ish or so I think. My dad wa like the player type of person back then, and my mom was more the shy type at the time. Shes really artistic, can draw and paint REALY well, and smart enough to figure out alot of stuff on her own, or with little help. Probably where I got my tallents from. Shes semi strict, but also very patient (unless shes already having a bad day) She would discipline us and actually tell us why we were being disciplined, not just a because "I said so". In most cases though, as long as the grades where good and the house choores got done, she didn't really have any other issues with us pretty much doing what we wanted, unless it was something we shouldn't be doing. She was pretty supportive of our hobbies, and even took some interest in a few anime titles in later years (when we actually got into anime) Shes pretty open minded. I think her favorites are ghibli type movies, Which I think are the best types of anime to get your rents into before anything else ;p
We always lived with mom. I'll get into the devorce on the dad part ;p

Now for Dad, I mentioned he was something of a player in his younger days, Well, My mom didn't like that idea, so they separated when I was around er 8 or ( I think. Although my mom was kinda strict, she wasn't so quick to punish us, most of the actual punishments came from dad. Such as I remember a time when we were supposed to take a bath and instead we somehow found it hilarious to run around the house naked instead of doing what we were told. Let me tell you a thick leather belt on naked skin doesn't feel very nice :lol: He was also into cars, and was very particular about any of us playing next to said cars. He was very quick to threaten with the belt, and just as quick to use it if we didn't listen. Aside from that though, he was a pretty cool dad, and was well known in the town we lived, since he was hands down the best bodyman in town, all the custom jobs went to him. My mom actually helped out some with that, Drew the artwork and he'd airbrush it on the car or bike or van or whatever they were working on. My dad was alot like my mom in that he picked up on things pretty quickly and though not as artistic as my mom, was pretty good with a large range of things. Fixed alot of stuff around the house himself, stuff like that. I guess you could call him dexterous ;p

After my mom devorced him though, my dad was quite the ladies man. I have about 11 or 12 sisters as a result, all from different moms. And I think 1 brother that I know of. I havn't even met all of em yet. Its bitting him in the but now though, cuz now all of em are coming back winning about childsupport, even though alot of these girls are the type that would take the money and go to the mall with it. My dad has settled down in his later years now though and gotten much wiser with those kinda things. Hes married with a girl he helped to get into the country but they don't realy get along, since shes almost like the evil stepmother in the cinderella story to my older sister living in the house named Rashida. Shida is not her daughter, while the other 2 in the house are, so a similar situation materialized in the house, especially since she gets jealous easily and does not like Rashidas mom. Shes somewhat immature for her age sometimes also, tough she is still pretty young at around 29. Fortunately shes been better with this lately and usually is nice unless something gets her upset, then she takes it out on the rest of the family for days after. (its almost like she has an internal switch that you don't want to flip) He still claims my mom was the best girl he ever had though and regrets that he screwed up in the past ;p (although theres a blessing in desguise I guess, since I like all my sisters that I have come to know :o)

My dad is also somewhat into anime, though He prefers shorter series that he doesn't have to watch over a long period of time. He ejoyed titles like Initial D, Afro Samurai, Kenshin OVAs, Memories, Tokyo Godfathers, Steamboy, and pretty much all the Ghibli movies. He prefers the stuff that has more impressive animation, such as movies, and 3d works like the Final fantasy movies over the cheaper budgeted Syndicated TV shows. He also showed some interest in my AMVs and have commented on them in the past.

Me being a grownup now though, I have to say its thanks to my parents being strict as they were that kept me out of trouble and helped me grow to a pretty stable person today with no problems with stuff like drugs or alcohol abuse and the such. Well thats pretty much my rents in a nutshell, typed alot more than I expected I would ;p
User avatar
Bakadeshi
Abuses Spellcheck
 
Joined: 29 Sep 2003
Location: Atlanta, GA

Postby Bakadeshi » Mon Jun 18, 2007 3:26 pm

er, older sister being oldest of the sisters, shes 15 now, not older than me ;p
User avatar
Bakadeshi
Abuses Spellcheck
 
Joined: 29 Sep 2003
Location: Atlanta, GA

Postby SilversLightning » Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:48 pm

Uh....what parents?

:shock:
User avatar
SilversLightning
Resident Yaoi Fangirl
 
Joined: 17 Oct 2005
Location: in an alternate universe
Status: Going crazy

Postby JudgeHolden » Tue Jun 19, 2007 8:45 am

I keep the heads of my parents in the freezer ... making for a rather fridged relationship .....







:shock: What, you expected a real answer ..... not going to happen. :wink:
ImageImageImageImage
User avatar
JudgeHolden
 
Joined: 14 Mar 2005
Location: The great white north (Minneapolis)
Status: Looking at you through your window!

Postby 8bit_samurai » Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:04 am

Hmm... Let's see. Outta my step family, I take after my dad, being the youngest of the sibings. My birth mother was also the youngest of her siblings. Outta my blood siblings, I'm 4th oldest outta 11 or so. I'm 3rd oldest outta my real father's kids, 2nd outta my birth mother's side. My real father was 2nd oldest outof his siblings. Don't really know much about my parents regarding their past history BH (Before Henry, me). It's sorta complicated. Also, there were traditions my parents followed that people these days don't do. I'm a full blooded Alaskan Native, although I don't act as one when it comes to traditions and such. :/
Under Construction
User avatar
8bit_samurai
Hmm...
 
Joined: 17 May 2006
Location: Alaska

Postby downwithpants » Tue Jun 19, 2007 11:13 am

Shazzy wrote:Magically, they discovered how to encourage excellence without making me feel unduly pressured. Result: I have a great resentment-free work ethic.

i'm curious, how'd they do that? it's not easy to do.
maskandlayer()|My Guide to WMM 2.x
a-m-v.org Last.fm|<a href="http://www.frappr.com/animemusicvideosdotorg">Animemusicvideos.org Frappr</a>|<a href="http://tinyurl.com/2lryta"> Editors and fans against the misattribution of AMVs</a>
User avatar
downwithpants
BIG PICTURE person
 
Joined: 03 Dec 2002
Location: storrs, ct
Status: out of service

Postby Shazzy » Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:08 pm

downwithpants wrote:
Shazzy wrote:Magically, they discovered how to encourage excellence without making me feel unduly pressured. Result: I have a great resentment-free work ethic.

i'm curious, how'd they do that? it's not easy to do.


Emphasizing results of success/involvement/work visually. My dad wanted me to join the debate team, so instead of pushing me to sign up, he took me to a finalist policy round. Seeing those guys talk 300 miles a minute was more motivating than him telling me what a great opportunity it was. Same thing with theatre, music, etc. They took to me a really good high school drama production and my mom talked about the acting she had done in HS/college, which led me to thinking, "hey, why can't I do that?" They're great at introducing opportunities in a positive light without saying "you should do this," or "we want you to do that."

And as far as actual school goes...while they did expect perfect grades, they phrased it as "you're too smart to not get As." That sunk in as, "Yeah, I'm not stupid, I'm keeping my 4.0." I was self-motivated from then on. Before middle school they didn't talk about grades at all. Scores were sent directly to the parents, so I didn't know grades existed in elementary school. If I wasn't doing well in a certain subject, my mom would play related educational games with me at home.
AMV guides for Mac users
DOWNLOAD THIS AMV
Quarter-life crisis: a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you.
User avatar
Shazzy
 
Joined: 12 Jun 2004
Location: The Universe

Postby Kusoyaro » Tue Jun 19, 2007 6:30 pm

My parents are Asian.


...that's actually a pretty detailed description of them, when I think about it.
I have no idea how to use this new forum.
User avatar
Kusoyaro
LEGENDARY!!!
 
Joined: 16 Jan 2001
Location: HOT FUCKING

Postby Athena » Tue Jun 19, 2007 9:36 pm

Kusoyaro wrote:My parents are Asian.


...that's actually a pretty detailed description of them, when I think about it.


Or you could read the Kusoyaro interview. It explains everything.

I don't like my parents, they don't like me. We talk very little, and only in regards to what we have to. Since I am living at home while I save up the cash to move back to Atlanta, our conversations are limited to "Do you want dinner?" "No." or "Please move your car." "Okay." and not much else. This has been true for most of my life, and I'm not much interested in seeing it change. Both of my parents are decent individuals, but they're not the personality type I would look for in a friend, and I am told they feel the same way about me (and now-a-days, that's the way they feel about it each other as well).
Image
User avatar
Athena
I ♥ the 80's
 
Joined: 02 Mar 2001
Location: Japan
Status: Sad Girl on Mac

Postby badmartialarts » Wed Jun 20, 2007 4:18 am

I didn't know friendship had anything to do with parenting. :O


My parents, let's see...my mom is like a saint. Well, as I see her. She is patient in the face of pretty much any adversity, and is Christian to a fault. She makes miracles happen (like when I needed a costume for a school function in two days). She's friendly to everyone she meets; she'd probably be so nice to any potential mugger that they'd want to go to the nearest phone and call their own mothers. :) But before I praise her anymore, it's time to bury her a bit :o. She's kind of a slob, and is a total packrat, plus having a near photographic memory, so to her, a big pile of books and tapes and DVDs IS organized because she knows where everything is in it. I got this trait from her. :/ She's very tangenital, in the sense that if you start a conversation with her you'll likely be talking about anything but the original subject within five minutes. I'm like this too.

As for my dad...I didn't really appreciate my father when I was a child. He worked all the time, for two-three week stretches, then would be home for a week, then back to work (standard oilfield industry practice). When he was home he typically drank himself into a stupor and smoked like a oil refinery. I always saw how sad it made my mom to see im like that so I promised myself I'd never start smoking or drinking (I'll have the occasional alcoholic beverage but only socially and only one or two at the most.) When I was 5 or 6, he lost his job thanks to the oil industry bust of the 80s (Remember when gas was 69 cents a gallon? That was because OPEC flooded the market with cheap oil and crushed most of the US exploration and drilling companies.) He didn't work for 6 years. The oilfied was all that he knew, and he was too stubborn to look for any other kind of work. I tend to be pretty stubborn too. After my dad officially retired from working when he turned 62, and he stopped most of his drinking and smoking (not all of it though...shh...it's supposed to be a secret from Mom although she knows), I really got to know him better. He's very smart, but incredibly fatalistic about life (kind of like...me...though I rail against fatalism and end up just being cynical). And he lets things get him depressed easily without bothering to tell anyone about it (like...me again). I am a lot more like Dad than just looking like him, as I have found.

I was raised amazingly passively, especially compared to my siblings. Like a lot of the above posters mentioned, the youngest always tends to be spoiled. I am the youngest of 6, by 15 years to my next oldest sister. So I wasn't just spoiled by my parents, but also by my adult siblings. I was rarely punished (though Mom didn't spare the rod...or the spatula...or the yardstick...or the back of her hand on occasion). I got pretty much what I wanted when I wanted it...but luckily, I rarely wanted things other than books, which were free at the library. We were very poor because of my Dad's joblessness so material things were pretty much out of the question, which still leaves me fairly frugal, though if I do have extra cash I will spend it (so I've learned tricks to make sure I never have extra accessible cash.) Heck, I didn't ever realize we WERE poor until I got into high school, where things like clothing and cars started to matter, and all I could muster was driving Mom's car on occasion and wearing the latest in Wal-Mart sale item fashion. :)
Life's short.
eBayhard.
User avatar
badmartialarts
Bad Martial Artist
 
Joined: 25 Oct 2003
Location: In ur Kitchen Stadium, eatin ur peppurz

Postby Orwell » Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:21 am

Since my internet sucks so hard, I guess I'll give a real answer to this. Short answer is, I have a symbiotic relationship with my family. That's about as far as it goes.

My mother.... Has never really stood firm. At times she'll put her foot down, but it's over small stuff, because I've almost never asked for anything excessive. Or hell, really, even anything midly expensive. She's rather messy, thoroughly spoiled, and has no ambition. Nothing drives her as far as I can tell.

She's never been all that supportive, and a attempt at conversation with her that means something to me usually leads to me talking for about a minute, and as soon as I lapse just a little in the flow of speech, it's off onto her own tangent until I just give up. For a very short while people thought I should see a psyschologist. Told me to go read some book about being shy, so I read the half that had information, then handed it to my parent to look at. "I'm a emotional bulldozer," is pretty damn accurate, as she put it. She'll provide physical necessities in life, but looking for a emotional connection with her/immediate family member? Not in this life time. I'd venture to guess this is why I have such a hard time with relations with other, from simple friends to anything even remotely similar to a significant other. Emotionally dead to other people. "Look at all the friends you have" "No, those are people who like to think they know me."


My father was never really around, they got a divorce when I was three. I've seen him occasionally over the years, once a blue moon, until the past two years or so. From what I know of him, I think I share a lot of my personality, and physical dispositions, to him, though you'd never know it considering how buried they are. Quick witted, enterprising, and a unrestrained attitude in going after what he wants, irregardless of others.

He seems like he'd like to get to know his children, but you can't replace 15 years with perhaps a month total of interaction in that time period. And I have no attachment to him. Seems like a cool guy, interesting to be around, I don't blame him for anything, nor, at least overtly, my mother, but that's it. Just another person on the street as far as I'm concerned. Or maybe not on the street, last I heard now about two years ago he had some sort of infection, so perhaps he's dead.

The only family member I've ever felt something to what I expect would be a normal parent-child relationship would be with my grandfather, but by the time I moved next door to him at 9, I've had my... outlook, on life set in concrete for at least a couple years. Not quite sure what to say of him. The only person around that I can have conversations with involving anything that currently holds my interest, from finances personal to global, to the standing of the US in the world, historical discussions is him, unlike my mother who's essentially worthless for intellectually stimulating conversations.
Latest
[Kristyrat]: Vote for Orwell
[Kristyrat]: because train conducters are dicks.
Otohiko: whereas Germans are like "god we are all so horrible, we're going to die a pointless death now."
User avatar
Orwell
godx, Son of godix
 
Joined: 06 Jan 2004
Location: Frying Pan. Destination: Fire.

Postby ngsilver » Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:48 am

My parents are both devout Southern Baptists, so I think this should very quickly describe what they are like.

My relationship with my parents is an interesting one. I stay on good terms with them for the most part. They help me out from time to time so I like to keep it that way. However, as any of you can guess, I try to keep the majority of how I spend my days a secret from them and the rest of my extended family. I already get enough lip about having a fully stocked bar and would prefer not to get bitched out about what I do with porn, especially animated porn.

My involvement in anime has perplexed my parents for quite some time, and in their eyes this hobby of mine is childish and serves no merit in a 'normal' human life. The term 'normal' gets flung around my house very often, mostly coming from my mother.

My mother, the wonderful parent that she is, has always had an interesting way with words. I would often find myself being spoken to as if I was a lesser part of society just because of the hobbies I took up. It would seem that not being high on the honor roll or taking part in high school sports meant that I was less of a person, and as such, would make it no where in life. I can note hundreds of times when I would inform my mother that I would be in my room working on a story I would be writing (not like I had homework to do, since I finished that crap while I was in class) and her reply would be that I should study or play outside and that my writing would take me nowhere in life. Wonderful thing to hear as a developing author don't you think? Perhaps the fact that she was 'all that' in high school makes it difficult for her to fully accept me for who I am?

My father, surprisingly enough, was the geekiest jock I'd ever known while growing up. He played sports when he was younger and continued to play even while I was growing up. He's an Electrical Engineer who was never afraid of computers and as such I took a fancy to electronics from an early age. He taught me how to do carpentry, put up houses, and wire them. We don't really speak much, and when we do it is often just pleasantries, but sometimes we can speak for hours about new technologies or business opportunities. While he doesn't fully approve of my involvement in anime and the convention circuit he tries his best to figure out ways that I could corner a market and use my love for anime as a way to make money.

I get encouragement from my father, and discouragement from my mother. So now I often only tell my father about things I'm doing and leave my mother to berate me for drinking. I don't live with them so I usually talk to them over the phone about once a month and whenever they come up here to visit (we live about 500 miles apart).
ImageImage
ImageImageImage
User avatar
ngsilver
The Hookah Guy
 
Joined: 28 Jun 2003
Location: Detroit area
Status: Calm Your Miniature Colorful Horses

Postby Athena » Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:49 am

badmartialarts wrote:I didn't know friendship had anything to do with parenting.


Can't say anything about any other parents. I've only had two that I can remember. My biological father died in 1987, and while I know based on his preferences (he edited film for tv, liked science fiction, loved 80s hair bands), we probably would have gotten along, there is little sense in dwelling on it.

But I can say this, I hear about other people who had family road trips, or holiday activities, or family reunions, or traditions. My family (as there are only three of us) have no such thing. Nothing to unite us. So it may be in that sense I mention friendship or the like. We have no shared heritage. We are not, in the stereotypical sense, a family. We are three disgruntled aquaintences living in the same house pretending we owe each other something because we are "family."
Image
User avatar
Athena
I ♥ the 80's
 
Joined: 02 Mar 2001
Location: Japan
Status: Sad Girl on Mac

Postby Shazzy » Wed Jun 20, 2007 3:48 pm

Kusoyaro wrote:My parents are Asian.


...that's actually a pretty detailed description of them, when I think about it.


Enlighten me? I'm really not familiar with "typical" Asian parenting..
AMV guides for Mac users
DOWNLOAD THIS AMV
Quarter-life crisis: a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you.
User avatar
Shazzy
 
Joined: 12 Jun 2004
Location: The Universe

PreviousNext

Return to General Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests