This is a thread for all those little lessons in life that you wish someone had told you when you were a teenager. If you're still a teenager then pay attention, this is valuable info.
Personally I wish someone had told me about marriage. Specifically, I wish they had told me about how it's cheaper, in the long run, to just hire a hooker on an as needed basis.
Speaking of hookers, here's a little tip. If she's attractive then odds are she's a cop. Go for the ugly one instead. Sure, she's ugly, but trust me ugly women have what a man needs too.
Julia Roberts has armed security guards. I don't care what you thought of Pretty Woman, don't offer her $20 for a quickie. You'll get hurt. Apparently after the little whore hooked up with mr big bucks she quickly forgot where she came from. Bitch.
American women are just too damned independent. They don't do what they're told. There isn't a single thing you can do to make them happy. They just hang around with their feminist friends and figure out how to blame you for anything that has ever gone wrong in their life from birth on. So fuck Americans. Get a mail order bride instead. When she's still happy as shit that she doesn't have a wear a veil anymore then odds are she won't argue about who does the dishes. As a bonus, you won't speak her language so her babbling will be easier to tune out and thus a lot less annoying. The only disadvantage is that she might get lonely and want some friends like her. So it's probably a good idea to get two mail order brides at the same time. Try for sisters if you can. Can't beat that incest yuri can ya?