The If.... Would... Thread

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The If.... Would... Thread

Postby CodeZTM » Mon Apr 16, 2007 1:30 pm

Basically, this thread is dedicated to questions that fit the : If... Would... Question criteria. You must first answer the question asked, then give another question to take its place. For example:

IF: You found the death note on the ground, and realized that you could use it to kill anybody in the world...

WOULD: You use it?

So, here's my first question:

IF: You recieved 1,000,000 dollars by winning a giant contest, but only after the crew leaves (and signs it over to your name) you realize that it belongs to your vacationing neighbors....

WOULD: You keep it?
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Postby Flint the Dwarf » Mon Apr 16, 2007 3:08 pm

Realistically, yes. Essentially it's a contest of luck, I'm assuming some drawing. Otherwise they'd probably get the check at whatever contest it was. And, as luck would have it, someone fucked up and gave me the check. To continue...

IF: Your neighbors found out about you winning the contest that they know you didn't enter, and contacted whatever agency to verify the winner's name/address or whatever, then confronted you about it...

WOULD: You give it back, take it to court, or some other option?
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Postby requiett » Mon Apr 16, 2007 3:59 pm

I'd use the death note on the neighbors and keep the check.

IF: You were stranded on an island and your spouse already died of starvation...

WOULD: You eat his/her corpse for sustenance?
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Postby godix » Mon Apr 16, 2007 5:06 pm

requiett wrote:I'd use the death note on the neighbors and keep the check.

IF: You were stranded on an island and your spouse already died of starvation...

WOULD: You eat his/her corpse for sustenance?

Fuck no. I've cum inside her. Eating that is just sick.

IF: while banging away at a barely legal woman and her mother walks in

WOULD: You invite the mother to join?
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Postby Otohiko » Mon Apr 16, 2007 6:49 pm

godix wrote:
requiett wrote:I'd use the death note on the neighbors and keep the check.

IF: You were stranded on an island and your spouse already died of starvation...

WOULD: You eat his/her corpse for sustenance?

Fuck no. I've cum inside her. Eating that is just sick.

IF: while banging away at a barely legal woman and her mother walks in

WOULD: You invite the mother to join?


In the original phrasing of the question, yes, because I don't see how I could've sunk any lower. In this phrasing as obviously altered by a mod, nah.

IF: You were attacked by a raptor.

WOULD: You die?
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Postby Kristyrat » Mon Apr 16, 2007 7:36 pm

Otohiko wrote:In the original phrasing of the question, yes, because I don't see how I could've sunk any lower. In this phrasing as obviously altered by a mod, nah.

IF: You were attacked by a raptor.

WOULD: You die?


Nope, I'd punch it in the gills :amv:

IF: You survived that raptor attack.

WOULD: They be clever girls?

[/obligatory JP reference]
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Postby Kitsuner » Wed Apr 18, 2007 1:39 am

Only if they hold onto their butts.

IF: You were a puppet.

WOULD: You be allowed on Sesame Street?
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Postby guy07 » Wed Apr 18, 2007 10:13 am

No, but maybe on the chepelle show ...

IF: you found the secret for immortality

WOULD: you tell the world?
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Postby Arigatomina » Wed Apr 18, 2007 11:48 am

For a price. I'd want the patent.

If: you ran over the neighbor's dog.

Would: you hide the body?
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Postby CodeZTM » Wed Apr 18, 2007 12:22 pm

Uh. No. Why hide it when you know that the Chinese food people down the street will pay big bucks for it.

If: You found that you were e-mailed a map detailing how to get over a million dollors, tax free, by simply killing someone....

Would: You do it?
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Postby Fall_Child42 » Wed Apr 18, 2007 12:27 pm

Oh yeah for the same reason I always give my credit card and bank information to the rich arabic princes with swiss bank accounts that will give me money when i help them get to america.


If: You are the ruler of a medieval empire and you are about to have a celebration tomorrow. The celebration is the most important party you have ever hosted. You've got 1000 bottles of wine you were planning to open for the celebration, but you find out that one of them is poisoned.

The poison exhibits no symptoms until death. Death occurs within ten to twenty hours after consuming even the minutest amount of poison.

You have thousands of prisoners at your disposal and just under 24 hours to determine which single bottle is poisoned.

Then: What is the smallest number of prisoners you must have to drink from the bottles to be absolutely sure to find the poisoned bottle within 24 hours?
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Postby Flint the Dwarf » Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:00 pm

1000. Any less would mean at least one person drank from more than one bottle, so if he were poisoned, you couldn't be sure which bottle it was.

I can't think of a good one, someone else take it.
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Postby godix » Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:47 pm

Flint the Dwarf wrote:1000. Any less would mean at least one person drank from more than one bottle, so if he were poisoned, you couldn't be sure which bottle it was.

I can't think of a good one, someone else take it.


BZZT WRONG ANSWER.

Lets take a simplified example. 10 bottles, one is poisoned:

Person A drinks from bottle 1 2 and 3
B drink 3 4 and 5
C drinks 5 6 and 7
D drinks 7 8 and 9
E drinks 9 10 and 1

If two people die it must be the bottle they shared. If only one croaks it's the bottle that wasn't shared. So lets say person E and A die, the poison must be in bottle 1. OTOH if only C dies you know it's bottle 6. So you can cut the number of slaves in half at least. If you up the number of bottles each drinks I'm sure you can cut down on required slaves even more. Glancing at the problem I think the minimum slaves required would end up always being somewhere around 30% of the number of bottles but I haven't thought about it enough to be sure and I certainly am not bored enough to turn it into pure math to figure it out.
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Postby godix » Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:55 pm

Ok. I wasn't bored enough to figure it out but I was bored enough to google the answer. I had the right idea with sharing the bottles but boy was I way off on my guesstimate of the answer. If anyone cares to figure it out a hint is to think of the slave living or dying as a binary 0 and 1.

As of note FC, if you really want to annoy people then change the phrasing of the question to make googling harder.
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Postby Fall_Child42 » Wed Apr 18, 2007 6:12 pm

yeah yeah i know...

stupid google....

i did like the solution though.
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