Is there some horrific, mortifying footage of you on camera? Describe, in painstaking detail. Or better yet, POST IT.
When I was 12 years old, in diabetic summer camp (yes, they have summer camps exclusively devoted to teaching kids about diabetes), they made me sing Phil Collins' "You'll be in my heart" with my troop and I had to SIGN the fucking WORDS while I sang. I was Napoleon Dynamite, only I was twelve so its ok. Somewhere that thing tape will surface once I run for president.
And youll be in my heart
Yes, youll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more
Youll be in my heart
No matter what they say
Youll be here in my heart
Always




