OK, I thought I was done serious-posting in this thread because it didn't seem to be getting me anywhere, but *DEEP BREATH*, here it goes.
Kionon, it really, really sucks what happened to you. I've had some ugly stuff happen to me many years ago and I am still dealing with it, so I really sympathize with you on that, I do. However, all I wanted in my original posts, and I think all several other people wanted as well, is to point out the positive aspects of this community. I'm certainly not denying that some ugly things have been said or done by community members over the years, I'm certainly not saying that misogyny doesn't exist, and I'm definitely not saying this is not an important issue (speaking of misrepresenting someone's viewpoint).
I do think that community has made some positive progress, though, and I just feel like it's important to recognize that. I compare it a lot to my experience with the online gaming community. Most specifically, I've played a lot of Team Fortress 2 over the years. I loved the game, I enjoyed playing it with a variety of other people, and because of the strategy and social aspects, I enjoyed using the in-game voice chat. Unfortunately, this is where the issues began. It wasn't every game, or every night, but it was often enough that it was something that I worried about; namely, the guys who, hearing my voice, would comment, "OMG, a girl!" Some were simply surprised, but then there would be those who would say awful things, call me names, tell me to get back to the kitchen, etc. This was incredibly upsetting to me, obviously. Several other female friends/gamers I talked to said they never used the voice chat function for this very reason, but I never wanted to have to give up my literal voice in the game. When the situation arose, I would take control of it as best I could by muting people or joking about it ("Holy crap, are you a girl!? "No, I'm a 12 yr old boy"). I always found these tactics to be more effective than asking people to stop doing what they were doing, because unfortunately by asking them to stop I was leaving control of the situation in their hands. I shouldn't have had to deal with those situations in that manner, or at all. But it was also important for me to come to recognize that a lot of the other people playing the game were perfectly accepting, never made mention of my gender, or would come to my defense when people were horrible about it.
I'm really thankful that the AMV community has never been like that for me, and I'm sorry that your experience on the matter has not matched up with mine, Kio. There have been several people in this thread even who have been combative and rude, though as Todd's excellent post pointed out, some of this (not all) may have had to do with the tone of your post and responses. I know you probably didn't mean do this, but I felt that in one of your responses to me, you were basically implying that I was too white and too middle class for my perspective to matter. The only person in this thread who's made me feel like my voice is being marginalized is you, Kionon.
Just some food for thought.