How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Postby Fall_Child42 » Sun Sep 02, 2012 12:26 pm

A Fish.

:shark:

Welcome to the joke thread.
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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Postby TEKnician » Sun Sep 02, 2012 2:45 pm

A man walks into a bar and sees an unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He goes to grab it.

Bartender: Hey, man. That bottle is 40 bucks.
Man: I was going to show you a magic trick.
Bartender: What trick?
Man: I bet you 5 bucks I can drink this whole bottle without touching it.
Bartender: Oh, YOU'RE ON!

The man takes a deep breath...then grabs the bottle, cracks it open and drinks the whole thing. Meanwhile the bartender laughs.

Bartender: You stupid drunk, you lost the bet!
Man: I did? *hic*
Bartender: Yeah! You touched the bottle.
Man: Aw dammit, I guess I did.

The man pays up 5 bucks. The bartender walks away waving his reward around. The man chuckles at him and leaves the bar with a big smile on his face :awesome:
Almost as hard as fighting a Holy Paladin.
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Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bu

Postby zibbazabba905 » Sun Sep 02, 2012 4:24 pm

When ducks fly in a V, why is one side longer than the other?
Spoiler :
because there's more ducks on that side

How did the brown-billed duck get its name?
Spoiler :
the duck in front stopped to fast

Whats brown and sticky?
Spoiler :
a stick!
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Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bu

Postby Devolution » Sun Sep 02, 2012 9:16 pm

what's grey and comes in cans?
Spoiler :
paint
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Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bu

Postby Glitzer » Sun Sep 02, 2012 10:12 pm

How many Freudian psychologists does it take to screw your mother in a lightbulb?
One to change the bulb; the other to hold the penis ladder.

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

Confucius says, "Man who run in front of bus get tired, but man who run behind bus get exhausted."

I wish that my first word was "quote" so that when I died, I could say "unquote".
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Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bu

Postby Devolution » Mon Sep 03, 2012 12:56 am

a Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother
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Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bu

Postby AaronAMV » Tue Sep 04, 2012 12:19 am

how many members of PETA does it take it screw in a light bulb? it's not possible because PETA only knows how to bitch about change but not do anything about it
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Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bu

Postby Fall_Child42 » Tue Sep 04, 2012 11:32 am

It's interesting how most puns do not work in text.

But some require text.

For example.

"You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish. (Unless it's a bass)"
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Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bu

Postby Fall_Child42 » Wed Sep 05, 2012 11:18 am

Why is the sniper so good with a frying pan?

Spoiler :
Because he's always camping!
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Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bu

Postby Mr Pilkington » Wed Sep 05, 2012 1:57 pm

Why did the sperm cross the road?
Spoiler :
I seem to have put on the wrong sock this morning
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<[Kristyrat]> Orwell, you see / <[Kristyrat]> when a man really likes a woman / <[Kristyrat]> or has a bottle of chloroform
<inthesto> He takes her stuff / <inthesto> And then poops in her vagina
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Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bu

Postby aerotem » Sat Sep 08, 2012 11:27 am

Why is Advil white?
Spoiler :
Because it works.
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Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bu

Postby Fire_Starter » Sat Sep 08, 2012 4:01 pm

aerotem wrote:Why is Advil white?
Spoiler :
Because it works.

Except Advil caps are reddish-brown...
Tinnitus

<Fire_Starter> Stirspeare: college=failsauce?
<Stirspeare> Fire_Starter: Electoral college etc.

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Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bu

Postby Flint the Dwarf » Sat Sep 08, 2012 5:55 pm

Three men walk into a bar.

The fourth one ducks.
Kusoyaro: We don't need a leader. We need to SHUT UP. Make what you want to make, don't make you what you don't want to make. If neither of those applies to you, then you need to SHUT UP MORE.
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Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bu

Postby Amaterasu » Sat Sep 08, 2012 11:57 pm

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Spoiler :
To get to the other side
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Re: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bu

Postby 8bit_samurai » Sun Sep 09, 2012 11:08 pm

Why did the monkey fell out of the tree?

Spoiler :
Because it was dead.
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