Ambiati wrote:Every time you mods post something after I do, I get this strange feeling in my stomach that I've done something wrong. Like, "Oh no, I'm screwed."
Radical_Yue wrote:Fighting death is a BITCH. He punches like a girl but then goes all frilly foo foo by clawing at me like the dirty whore he really is. I've gone after the shins and managed to bring him to the ground a couple times but the fucker will not give up. If I didn't know better, I'd say that he killed The Italian Stallion just to steal his endurance. If this hooker doesn't show some signs of slowing then I'll have to start fighting dirty and going for the eyes.
Translation: I've got con plague and it blows. I hate being sick but it won't go away. Matt bought me some more medicine and extra soft tissues to help.
Miaka999 wrote:Girl use your ninja skills.Become a ninja kitteh and believe in thy powers
Kitsuner wrote:MycathatesyouAMV wrote:MycathatesyouAMV wrote:I've made alot of awesome friends through amvs and some that I've even gotten to meet and enjoy time with in real life. But alot of the times and especially lately, I'm just really paranoid and feel like I'm just a bother to everyone. It's frustrating because I don't want to make those people feel like I don't trust them or think badly of them, I just have a history of low self-esteem and feeling like I'm unwanted by everyone. Mainly in general, but due to me being completely silent at my new college and all of my local/highschool friends being back home, my editor friends are the ones I currently have the most social interactions with. I just wish I had a better perspective of what people thought of me and that I didn't have to feel so paranoid about myself all the time.
Following up on this, my life has just been a bit downhill as of lately. So I'm struggling with a ton of shit and this is just one of the many things on my mind I felt like venting about it. Sometimes I wish I had the guts to ask people if I was doing something wrong, but I dont want to feel like a huge drag to them and create an awkward situation out of it. So it's like this back and fourth struggle in my head where I'm afraid of what my friends think of me, but I'm also always afraid to talk to them about certain things, which leads to me feeling guilty about myself because I feel like I'm not treating my friends with enough trust.
I can empathize with this 100%. Feeling like you're not doing things right or missing out on something or that your friends are only pretending to like you is rough, even if you know objectively that things are going all right. It took me years to fully believe my AMV friends genuinely like me and want me around, but I still have a lot of trouble disabling my social filters and actually connecting with people. I can't even count the number of times I've held back from posting vents and complaints because I felt it wouldn't accomplish anything except making other people upset. On top of that, I feel like most of my problems are caused by me, so whenever I do complain I get very self-conscious about how much I let myself wallow in self-hatred. I've seen people get worn out by it and leave, and it doesn't fix anything anyway.
I guess the main reason I'm actually posting it now is to show you you're not alone in feeling alone and that maybe you're doing better than you realize. Enough people have been surprised to find out I have social anxiety that sometimes I think maybe I really don't. Maybe I convinced myself that I'm not as socially experienced as other people. Maybe you did too. Or maybe I'm just talking nonsense. Believing your problems are imaginary doesn't make them go away, of course, but if certain problems really are imaginary, maybe they can be unimagined or reimagined at some point.
Ambiati wrote:But...but...I'm a girl, a cute one too. >: *sniffs*
Miaka999 wrote:What to vent about besides Ambiati not wanting to play....I played a Russian card game with my friends and I really sucked at it. It was fun though. Its called mafia where one guesses who is a mafia leader, whomever gas a black ace card. Bummer....
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