Getting really sick of the fact that my job is covering half of our basic necessities right now, but whenever Mom has to go somewhere, she doesn't ask me to take a day off so that she can use the car. She just tells me that she has the appointment and expects me to request the day.
When I brought this up to her, she did her trademark
NOOO! at top volume (it's so famous that my friends who had never heard it before recognized it instantly from me simply imitating it beforehand), and said that I've been usually getting Thursdays off, and since the appointment was on Thursday the 30th, there shouldn't be a problem. This has only been true for two out of the six weeks of scheduling that I've had. I would hardly call it a pattern.
I'm not getting in trouble with work because she banked on me having the day off naturally and suddenly - surprise! - I work that day. I mean, seriously is this not common courtesy? If you're sharing a vehicle, you don't just take it when you please, especially for a non-essential appointment. It was just some stupid follow up that they could do with a letter in the mail.
But no, this is Mom, and she loves having doctors fawn over her, because she's a unique little fucking snowflake and special in every way. She would rather rack up another couple hundred dollars and waste gas money just to be told she's fine and "come back in six months."
Anyway, I'm just annoyed with being treated like my job is not as important. It may not bring in as much money as hers, but last I checked, I've been feeding us for the last year with that money, and that money covered all of those costs related to the eviction that she couldn't handle herself, even though those were HER bills to pay, not mine. So she doesn't have the right to just expect me to give up shifts for her (unnecessary) sake.
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Pwolf wrote:perhaps "too much" for me to handle sometimes makes more sense to me. id be happier if my lfe was in shambles and everyone else around me was happy.
You know, I thought that for a long time, but after having a pretty crappy life for the last year or so, I realized something. Having things be bad all the time eventually makes it hard to support others' happiness, and when they have problems, it's hard to feel bad. "Oh, your co-worker was being a bitch today? Cool story, bro.
I lost my house." Stuff like that.
You want to be the friend who offers sage advice, or the friend who steps in to help, or the friend who just rants with them so that they at least feel a little better for having let off some steam, but when everything seems to be going wrong in your own life, it's hard to focus on being a good friend to someone else. The fact that hardships and happiness are experienced by everyone is what allows us to be empathetic creatures.
So I don't think that wanting to hoist the world on your shoulders to save others the burden is really the right mindset. You're not helpless to help. Kind words, a shoulder to cry on, a day/night out simply to take their mind off of the issues troubling them, or just being somebody to talk to are all things that shouldn't be underestimated. Not being able to fix the situation doesn't mean you can't help them cope, and every bit of sanity you save them is another day that they can face with strength.
This is getting pretty saccharine, so I'll end it here, but you get the point.