The Vent Thread

[Otohiko]

Don't feel bad about forgetting things. Sometimes it's for the better, and amnesia is very typically a defense mechanism that protects you from dealing with worse things than just not remembering. I have several episodes in my life that have been erased from my conscious memory (ironically, one of them was also related to pneumonia), most of them to do with physical or psychological trauma. For about half of them, I had weird moments in my life where something suddenly triggered my memory of them, and well... that led me to freak the fuck out. To the point where my mind just kind of froze and couldn't function properly for a few days. Those moments of remembering were straight up some of the worst moments in my life, and most of these things I have promptly repressed and forgotten again.

And I don't think that any time lived is wasted. Even the very experience of blanking out and forgetting a whole period is a very valuable one to learn about yourself from.

[dj_ultima_the_great]

Getting really sick of the fact that my job is covering half of our basic necessities right now, but whenever Mom has to go somewhere, she doesn't ask me to take a day off so that she can use the car. She just tells me that she has the appointment and expects me to request the day.

When I brought this up to her, she did her trademark NOOO! at top volume (it's so famous that my friends who had never heard it before recognized it instantly from me simply imitating it beforehand), and said that I've been usually getting Thursdays off, and since the appointment was on Thursday the 30th, there shouldn't be a problem. This has only been true for two out of the six weeks of scheduling that I've had. I would hardly call it a pattern.

I'm not getting in trouble with work because she banked on me having the day off naturally and suddenly - surprise! - I work that day. I mean, seriously is this not common courtesy? If you're sharing a vehicle, you don't just take it when you please, especially for a non-essential appointment. It was just some stupid follow up that they could do with a letter in the mail.

But no, this is Mom, and she loves having doctors fawn over her, because she's a unique little fucking snowflake and special in every way. She would rather rack up another couple hundred dollars and waste gas money just to be told she's fine and "come back in six months."

Anyway, I'm just annoyed with being treated like my job is not as important. It may not bring in as much money as hers, but last I checked, I've been feeding us for the last year with that money, and that money covered all of those costs related to the eviction that she couldn't handle herself, even though those were HER bills to pay, not mine. So she doesn't have the right to just expect me to give up shifts for her (unnecessary) sake.

*******************************************

perhaps "too much" for me to handle sometimes makes more sense to me. id be happier if my lfe was in shambles and everyone else around me was happy.

You know, I thought that for a long time, but after having a pretty crappy life for the last year or so, I realized something. Having things be bad all the time eventually makes it hard to support others' happiness, and when they have problems, it's hard to feel bad. "Oh, your co-worker was being a bitch today? Cool story, bro. I lost my house." Stuff like that.

You want to be the friend who offers sage advice, or the friend who steps in to help, or the friend who just rants with them so that they at least feel a little better for having let off some steam, but when everything seems to be going wrong in your own life, it's hard to focus on being a good friend to someone else. The fact that hardships and happiness are experienced by everyone is what allows us to be empathetic creatures.

So I don't think that wanting to hoist the world on your shoulders to save others the burden is really the right mindset. You're not helpless to help. Kind words, a shoulder to cry on, a day/night out simply to take their mind off of the issues troubling them, or just being somebody to talk to are all things that shouldn't be underestimated. Not being able to fix the situation doesn't mean you can't help them cope, and every bit of sanity you save them is another day that they can face with strength.

This is getting pretty saccharine, so I'll end it here, but you get the point.

[Pwolf]

Sometimes I need to just take a chill pill though, since half of what I complain about is pretty petty stuff. I'll get over myself sooner or later

It happens. Even looking back over this whole getting a cat thing, I don't really know why it's bothering me so much... either get one or don't. Still bothers me no matter how stupid it looks. That's right, i'm cool

perhaps "too much" for me to handle sometimes makes more sense to me. id be happier if my lfe was in shambles and everyone else around me was happy.

You know, I thought that for a long time, but after having a pretty crappy life for the last year or so, I realized something. Having things be bad all the time eventually makes it hard to support others' happiness, and when they have problems, it's hard to feel bad. "Oh, your co-worker was being a bitch today? Cool story, bro. I lost my house." Stuff like that.

You want to be the friend who offers sage advice, or the friend who steps in to help, or the friend who just rants with them so that they at least feel a little better for having let off some steam, but when everything seems to be going wrong in your own life, it's hard to focus on being a good friend to someone else. The fact that hardships and happiness are experienced by everyone is what allows us to be empathetic creatures.

So I don't think that wanting to hoist the world on your shoulders to save others the burden is really the right mindset. You're not helpless to help. Kind words, a shoulder to cry on, a day/night out simply to take their mind off of the issues troubling them, or just being somebody to talk to are all things that shouldn't be underestimated. Not being able to fix the situation doesn't mean you can't help them cope, and every bit of sanity you save them is another day that they can face with strength.

This is getting pretty saccharine, so I'll end it here, but you get the point.

Having lived through some shitty years (and reminded every year since), I know. Believe me, I do not want to relive those moments but in this moment, not having a whole lot of stress or problems, I feel like I'd rather my life be a little bit shittier if it meant that someone else could be happier.

[Taite]

Don't feel bad about forgetting things. Sometimes it's for the better, and amnesia is very typically a defense mechanism that protects you from dealing with worse things than just not remembering. I have several episodes in my life that have been erased from my conscious memory (ironically, one of them was also related to pneumonia), most of them to do with physical or psychological trauma. For about half of them, I had weird moments in my life where something suddenly triggered my memory of them, and well... that led me to freak the fuck out. To the point where my mind just kind of froze and couldn't function properly for a few days. Those moments of remembering were straight up some of the worst moments in my life, and most of these things I have promptly repressed and forgotten again.

And I don't think that any time lived is wasted. Even the very experience of blanking out and forgetting a whole period is a very valuable one to learn about yourself from.

I suppose. I guess it's kind of hard for me to judge, seeing as I can't remember what I forgot, obviously. When you put it that way, it makes sense. I've had one such experience like that, remembering something and just kind of losing it. But at the same time, I'd like to recall my two weeks in Europe. Kind of a shitty deal.

Thanks for the advice. I probably need to self reflect more instead of lashing out lol.

Sometimes I need to just take a chill pill though, since half of what I complain about is pretty petty stuff. I'll get over myself sooner or later

It happens. Even looking back over this whole getting a cat thing, I don't really know why it's bothering me so much... either get one or don't. Still bothers me no matter how stupid it looks. That's right, i'm cool


Having lived through some shitty years (and reminded every year since), I know. Believe me, I do not want to relive those moments but in this moment, not having a whole lot of stress or problems, I feel like I'd rather my life be a little bit shittier if it meant that someone else could be happier.

lol true. btw, you should get a cat. Apparently I have a new cat too O:

And I think feelings are better off being converted instead of exchanged. (:

[Pwolf]

Apparently I have a new cat too O:

You should take pictures of it and post them in the photo thread >.>

[Taite]

Apparently I have a new cat too O:

You should take pictures of it and post them in the photo thread >.>

This will probably happen.

[Chained(E)Studio]

Apparently I have a new cat too O:

You should take pictures of it and post them in the photo thread >.>

This will probably happen.

OMG, yes yes yes! I love seeing kitties/cats all over the place! I think there is also a pet thread for this x''DD

[Dr. Derpface, J.D.]

$250 WOULD be spent on the car, but apparently it started making some horrendous noises and running really rough when the mechanic was driving it around, and he's gonna make sure it's nothing else before he even starts working on the fuel pump. So still without a car, and it might have more wrong than is worth fixing...

But I DID fix the fan in the laptop, at least. EWL is awesome stuff.

[Otohiko]

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My fucking essay is 4 days overdue and counting. I've been trying to lock myself away from other problems, urgent and otherwise, distractions and stress sources, but it's not working. I'm getting really kind of discouraged by this. I've produced dozens of pages of notes, but nothing still adds up to an actual essay, because the moment I start writing it, I have this violent urge to throw my laptop out the window. Wish I could go to someone at the university for help, but everyone's on vacation.

[Chained(E)Studio]

Staff again.

So I am supposed to be going up to my sisters for her baby shower this week, I leave Wednesday. I have been planning the schedule for my staff and myself for weeks. I always tell my staff that if they need a day off tell me before, not after I make the schedule, not the day of schedules coming out :/. Do they listen, no?

So my one staff phones and says she needs a day off. Well she already has a 4 day weekend, and only has to work 4 days before she gets a 3 day weekend, and on top of that I do not feel any need to cancel my planned vacation for her since I always tell her to tell me BEFORE I make the schedule. She is just going to have to work her hours :/. Any normal person would be glad they are even getting hours.

I always bend and move things for her all the time to be accommodating and its like the one time I take more than one day off she flips and needs more days off. Well toooo plooping bad. e-e