Okay, in the past few hours, I've had the chance to try Mewa, ZS4 (Zwei Stein 4), and something called ABC Videoroll. Mewa is just a slideshow-maker, and Zwei Stein 4 is a lot like a screencap of a nonlinear editor - you can look at it and click on parts of it, but it doesn't actually do anything because nothing is actually there. ABC Videoroll has something that could be loosely described as functionality; however, as I went through the tutorial, half of the things that should have happened (according to the tutorial) didn't. This lasted for about 3 or 4 minutes before the program crashed and took my taskbar with it, forcing me to reboot.
Hooray for open-source
The only .org member to donate $1,500 and still have a donation status of "total leech"