Alright dudes, here's the beef. Since expanding my consciousness I have made an amazing discovery: The new Tool album is less gay than general music.
Here is my proof:
Section 1 (This is all true I swear)
1. Tool is a very talented band of amazing musicians.
1a.General Music is a bunch of boring faggots who have nothing but discussions about who they'd most likely want to fuck from a death metal band. I say death metal because making the distinction between different types of metal is way beyond my caring threshold right now. I mean females in death metal bands, not dudes, but then again, the way you faggots roll, everyone's fair game.
2. Tool has a record label at their back that supports them.
2a. General Music is just a bunch of anonymous faggots posting from home or their dorm room.
3. Tool has probably gotten more pussy than any of you ever will.
3a. Collectively, Tool has to have been laid at least 40,000 times (estimate.) Even Maynard probably gets more tail than any of you faggots, and he's fucking hideous.
4. Tool is not hotdog water.
4a. General Music is hotdog water.
5. Tool's new album sounds really good when you blaze.
5a. General Music is still a bunch of boring faggots talking about fucking falsetto solos and the epic adventures of queen evermore of bloodstone.
Now that I've cleared the air, I'd like to make it clear to all of you that this in no way makes Tool any less gay of a band, they're still rooty tootie fresh and fruity in my book, but take pride in knowing that in a gay contest, the gaylimpics if you will, you dudes would place 1st.






